Dead Duck?!

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Yard Dart, Jan 10, 2015.

  1. Yard Dart

    Yard Dart Vigilant Monkey Moderator

    A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As
    she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his
    stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

    After a moment or two, the vet ...
    shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles,
    has passed away."

    The distressed woman wailed,
    "Are you sure?"
    "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied
    the vet..

    "How can you be so sure?" she
    protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or

    The vet rolled his eyes, turned
    around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later
    with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on
    in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his
    front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from
    top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and
    shook his head.

    The vet patted the dog on the
    head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he
    returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also
    delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat
    back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and
    strolled out of the room.

    The vet looked at the
    woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most
    definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

    The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and
    produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..

    The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she
    cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

    The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it,
    the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the
    Cat Scan, it's now $150."
    Mike, Hanzo, oldawg and 9 others like this.
  2. tacmotusn

    tacmotusn RIP 1/13/21

    good joke. old one but good joke. pay the man dumb mass, you asked for it. orange duck anyone?
    Yard Dart likes this.
  3. KAS

    KAS Monkey++

    hahahahahahahaha f_cking love it ...
    nothing better than a good laugh first thing in the morning before some garage sale'ing ...
    kellory and Yard Dart like this.
  4. Cruisin Sloth

    Cruisin Sloth Special & Slow

    Duck is a Khaki Campbell / Mallard that has been bread to have good egg production & large.
    Not good meat birds . It's the Drake in the picture . We have had 3 flocks of these but now have moved into Muscovy for a better meat bird, These can fly so wing cropping of one wing keeps them low, Khaki try hard and just move air.
    That would be cleaned & dog food that evening !
    Yard Dart likes this.
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