Diet Chips

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by ghrit, Jul 28, 2006.

  1. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    Diet Chips
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I used to have a Labrador retriever & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy who was behind her. Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned. I told her no, I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me. I thought the tall guy was going to have to stagger out the door.:D
  2. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member


    I absolutely love it..

    You're a good man, Charlie Brown! :D
  3. TailorMadeHell

    TailorMadeHell Lurking Shadow Creature

    Holy crap. I didn't see that one coming. I thought maybe she'd try a nibble and puke or something. That is hilarious. Beware the Purina Diet. :D
  4. Quigley_Sharps

    Quigley_Sharps The Badministrator Administrator Founding Member

    someone say nuts?
  5. monkeyman

    monkeyman Monkey+++ Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    I figured it was going to be that you got to close to some hungry dogs and forgot you had them in your pockets. lol
  6. BigUglyOne

    BigUglyOne Monkey+++ Founding Member

  7. <exile>

    <exile> Padawan Learner

    It's funny how these jokes mutate on the internet, here's the version I got today:

  8. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    Deleted for no good reason --
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