Differences

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Seacowboys, Aug 15, 2006.


  1. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    Difference Between Men and Women
    1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

    2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

    3. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

    4. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.

    5. Married men live longer than single men - but married men are a lot more willing to die.

    6. Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

    7. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

    8. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change & she does.

    9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

    10. There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage & after marriage.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 26, 2015
  2. E.L.

    E.L. Moderator of Lead Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    [peep]
     
  3. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    They don't scare me; I can lay down right beside em.:unsure:
     
  4. ghrit

    ghrit Ambulatory anachronism Administrator Founding Member

    Check the nightstand for sharp implements first, Mr. Bobbit --:D
     
  5. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    :lol:
     
  6. E.L.

    E.L. Moderator of Lead Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    [LMAO]
     
  7. ghostrider

    ghostrider Resident Poltergeist Founding Member

    Did you have any contact with my biographer before you posted that?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 26, 2015
  8. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member



    Yes...he consulted with me on that part....not to worry! :D



    :unsure:
     
  9. ghostrider

    ghostrider Resident Poltergeist Founding Member

    Looked like collusion.
     
  10. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member



    Be careful...I'll have to take my biographer hat off and put my lawyerin' hat on....

    geeeezy peeeeezy...what I do for you! [cmfrt]
     
  11. ghostrider

    ghostrider Resident Poltergeist Founding Member

    :eek:
     
  12. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    Nothing further, Your Honor

    Speaking of lawyerin';)
    Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
    A: No.
    Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
    A: No.
    Q: Did you check for breathing?
    A: No.
    Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
    A: No.
    Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
    A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
    Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
    A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.​
     
survivalmonkey SSL seal        survivalmonkey.com warrant canary
17282WuJHksJ9798f34razfKbPATqTq9E7