Ninety five year old Fred and ninety two year old Ethel go to the Doctor's for a checkup. Fred goes in to see the Doctor first. After awhile Fred comes out to the waiting room and Ethel goes in. Before Ethel can try and get up on the exam table the Doctor tells her he needs to speak to her about his exam with Fred. Ethel says: " I told him about drinking all that beer... Doc says: Oh no that's not the problem.... Fred told me he feels great but every night when he goes to the bathroom God turns the light on for him and when he's done God shuts the light off. Ethel respond's : " Damn, Damn, that asshole Fred is peeing in the fridge again" OLD AGE AINT NO PLACE FOR SISSIE by Betty Davis
A fiftyish woman was at home happily jumping on her bed and squealing with delight. Her husband watched her for a while and asked, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?" The woman continued to bounce on the bed and said, "I don't care. I just came from having a mammogram and the doctor said I have the breasts of an 18 year-old." The husband asked, "What did he say about your 56 year old ass?" "Your name never came up," she replied.
