Dog's Rules for Christmas...

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by CRC, Nov 25, 2007.

  1. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    1. Be especially patient with your humans during this time. They
    may appear to be more stressed-out than usual and they will
    appreciate long comforting dog leans.

    2. They may come home with large bags of things they call gifts.
    Do not assume that all the gifts are yours.

    3. Be tolerant if your humans put decorations on you. They seem
    to get some special kind of pleasure out of seeing how you look
    with fake antlers.

    4. They may bring a large tree into the house and set it up in a
    prominent place and cover it with lights and decorations.
    Bizarre as this may seem to you, it is an important ritual for
    your humans, so there are some things you need to know:
    - Don't pee on the tree
    - Don't drink water in the container that holds the tree
    - Mind your tail when you are near the tree
    - If there are packages under the tree, even ones that smell
    interesting or that have your name on them, don't rip them
    - Don't chew on the cord that runs from the funny-looking
    hole in the wall to the tree

    5. Your humans may occasionally invite lots of strangers to come
    visit during this season. These parties can be lots of fun, but
    they also call for some discretion on your part:
    - Not all strangers appreciate kisses and leans
    - Don't eat off the buffet table
    - Beg for goodies subtly
    - Be pleasant, even if unknowing strangers sit on your sofa
    - Don't drink out of glasses that are left within your reach

    6. Likewise, your humans may take you visiting. Here your manners
    will also be important:
    - Observe all the rules in #4 for trees that may be in other
    people's houses. (4a is particularly important)
    - Respect the territory of other animals that may live in the
    - Tolerate children
    - Turn on your charm big time

    7. A big man with a white beard and a very loud laugh may emerge
    from your fireplace in the middle of the night.


  2. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    :lol: #3 :lol:

  3. kckndrgn

    kckndrgn Monkey+++ Moderator Emeritus Founding Member


    All are good, and all are true!!
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