DW's primal journal

"What is that?"
My husband stared warily at the yellow mush in the bowl by the oven. It *looked* like mashed potatoes to the casual observer, but this is a man who eats potatoes in some form or another every day of his life. He is difficult to fool.
"What does it look like?" I snot, rolling my eyes for added effect.
"Why is it yellow?"
"Cheese," I sigh, and I'm only partially lying. The cauliflower I spent half the afternoon manipulating to pass itself off as cheese drenched mashed potatoes was orange to begin with. The addition of a half cup of sharp chedder had little to do with the color. Unfortunately it didn't seem to do much for the taste either. Copious amounts of garlic and onion powder barely cracked the ugly on it's not-potato taste. I can only imagine the recipe reviewers who swore it tasted Just! Like! Potatoes! had never actually eaten one.

I confess I have a long standing hate affair with cauliflower, along with turnips, rutebegas, and anything else that can potentially masqurade as mashed potatoes. Growing up, my mother frequently tried to slip her idea of healthy food past our suspicious palates, usually with little success. After the first mouthful of boiled, smashed, unsalted and unbuttered turnips, we all learned to tread cautiously where her cooking was concerned. And now I was attempting to pull off the same feat, tricking the real life version of Samwise Gamgee into thinking cauliflower is a potato. I felt dirty just thinking about it. Well, not THAT dirty. He did leave a forbidden bag of Doritos on the counter for me to lust after all day.

As I pretended not to watch, he spooned a heap onto his plate and headed for the couch. I didn't know what came from Netflix that afternoon, but crossed my fingers it would be engrossing enough that he wouldn't notice it wasn't Idahoan on his spoon. If I could just get him through that first bite...

Except I couldn't get myself through it. Everything about it was wrong, the texture, the unholy cauliflower stink beneath the aroma of garlic and cheese. I could have grated three pounds of cheddar on it and still tasted the evil within. What started out as an attempt to find a viable substitute for mashed potatoes rapidly escalated into an all out war with my tastebuds, who demanded I throw it to the bin and present them with something edible. Preferably something with bacon.

Glancing sideways I watched my husband take one bite, than another, seemingly oblivious to what he was putting in his mouth. Did he not know? Did he actually... LIKE it?

When I was twelve I dumped peppermint extract into the broccoli Mom was steaming, thinking it would taste bad and she wouldn't make me eat it. Instead she and Dad both swore it was the best broccoli they'd ever had, and wouldn't let me leave the table until I ate it all. Now it seemed my scheming was backfireing again. I pictured my husband raving about his "potatoes", requesting I make them more often. I'd be stuck eating this crap four times a week.

Miserably I stared down at the orangy yellow mush on my plate. As a child I would frequently slip away from the dinner table under the guise of refilling my glass of milk. With both fists stuffed full of unwanted vegetables, I would casually hide them in the potted plants en route to the fridge, and no one would be the wiser. When the plants got too full, I resorted to tossing the hated handfuls into the narrow abyss between the fridge and the wall. My dad still tells the story about how they found five years worth of petrified broccoli and lima beans behind the fridge when we moved.

Just as I was eyeballing the potted ivy on the end table, he put his spoon down and stood up. Without asking, he took my plate and his and went to the kitchen. When he returned, the offensive orange poseur had been scraped clean from our plates, replaced with equally orange Doritos for him and an extra chicken leg for me.

"Next time -"
"Potatoes."

 

Thanks for the morning laugh! Sounded awful and I love cauliflower.

Spaghetti squash. My boys & husband sound much like your husband but they actually like spag. squash. It is the oddest thing.

 

My wife hates change and was extremely skeptical when I started my PB program. I've added spaghetti squash as well as mashed cauliflower to our regular fair and she's a fan now. I ususally add a load of butter to the full head of mashed cauliflower that I make, but I'd eat almost anything once and most things any time. She has surprised me many times so I guess I should stop saying that she is inflexible because she keeps trying the weird stuff I make. Except the egg plant pizza: she wouldn't even tough it so that won't happen agains.

Great post! Thanx for sharing.

 

I guess if you really don't like cauliflower then there's not helping it but I've had "Mashed Cauliflower" a number of times and it wasn't nearly as bad as you describe. I don't mind it in the first place but it almost seems like you just got a bad recipe or something.

 

Everything I planned to eat today has kinda gone awry but not bad.
Breakfast: 2 pieces bacon, last handful of my blueberries
Lunch: The Mr. wanted me to come to town to have lunch with him today. No prob, figured we'd go to the Mexican place we usually go to. They have a ceviche tostada, figured I'd get it and just not eat the tostada. Except I guessed wrong, and he wanted to go to this drugstore that has a soda fountain slash burger shop in it. So, got a bacon cheeseburger sans mayo and chucked the bun. They got good burger patties, cooked in bacon grease, heh.
Dinner: I was going to throw a corned beef brisket on the grill, until I realized I needed 5 hours to do it and it was already 4. Ribeyes are thawing on the counter now. Will do the corned beef tomorrow.
Snackie: salted avocado

I'M NOT HUNGRY!!!

Taking the dogs for a 20 minute walk when he gets home. AND, because Chihuahuas are neither fast nor distance walkers, and because I'm not ready to buy that Euro Doberman I've been lusting for the past 2 years, I put in an application with the New Mexico Doberman Rescue to be a foster home. They were looking for volunteers and foster homes in TX and CO. High energy dogs with long enough legs to force me to move on walks. Last time I owned one, I actually ran a few miles every evening. It'll be good for me AND the dog.

 

@Elessar never had eggplant pizza, I will google it. Zucchini crusted pizza is amazing, great way to use up zucchini when you get overwhelmed.

 

I started out good this morning, but about noon I crashed. Just sitting here with zero energy, freezing, staring at the screen. I dropped my carbs from around 50g a day to under 30 and I think that's why. Need to clean house, got started, going nowhere now. I just want to go back to bed.

Breakfast: 2 hardboiled eggs, 2 pieces bacon, 5 strawberries
Lunch: 4 oz smoked salmon, small avocado, 1 oz sharp cheddar
Dinner: pork steak, roasted shrooms n peppers, garlic onion chard
Snacks: 1 c cashew milk, 1 mandarin orange, 1 tbps coconut oil
Supplements: glucosamine, 2 wild alaskan salmon oil 1000mg, 2 1000 vit e, calcium +D

****
Whatever it was passed and was back to biz by 4. Cleaning like a crazy person ever since. Craving something sweet, not chocolate though. Found this recipe for vegan faux cookie dough that, with a couple of changes (flour to almond flour) worked fine with primal. It's in the fridge setting up but I licked the spoon... not bad!

 

Almost done cleaning the house. Need to pick up back yard, clean rabbit cages, add some more straw to the chicken coop, and clean big dog kennel and get it set up. Had to dig that out of the garage and it's filthy.

Breakfast: 1c coconut milk, 100g blueberries, 100g strawberries, 1T flax seed smoothie and 2 pieces bacon
Lunch: 8 oz pork steak
Dinner: 8 oz corned beef (assuming I can remember to get the brisket on the grill by 1 pm this time), and fried cabbage
Snacks: 1 oz macadamia nuts

20 minute walk with dogs, plus a few hours of assorted crawling, squatting, climbing, digging, and wheelbarrow pushing from various cleaning activities.

Per Moto's instruction am avoiding scale until Friday.

 

I spent most of yesterday on the run. Dentist appt at 10:30 to start Invisalign (never let any dentist convince you it'll be ok to remove your permanent retainer!), then to store to pick up a bunch of So Delicious Coconut Milk (they aren't kidding on the name, best I've tried!), then out to pick up the new foster dog. The Dobie I was expecting ended up getting adopted and they begged me to take a dog in for another rescue that was about to send him back to the pound. Satchmo kept me busy most of the day trying to convince him that yes, it's ok to come into the house, no you may not pee on everything, and no the 4 pound Chihuahua won't really kill you.

Needless to say all that made getting breaky or lunch fixed impossible so glad I had some quick grab stuff on hand. The Invisalign also makes eating a pill. I'm supposed to take them out to eat, then brush and floss and brush the trays immediately afterwards. The dental asst said a lot of people lose weight on it because it's too much of a PITA to go through just for a snack.

Going nuts without the scale to constantly hop on and off. Did notice the too-small t-shirt I picked up from Maine while on vaca a few years ago actually fit like it was supposed to when I put it on yesterday. And I DO feel better. It's rainy and grey out ATM which is usually my cue to couch potato and snack on cheese, but I'm feeling pretty energetic so may go clean some in the garage.

Yesterday
Breakfast: 1 oz macadamia nuts, 1 banana
Lunch: avocado and left over corned beef brisket
Dinner: 2 1/4# hamburger patties with 2 oz sharp cheddar

Today
Breakfast: skipped
Lunch: 4 oz smoked salmon, coconut milk/strawberry/flax seed smoothie, tapioca flatbread w/ 2 tsbp butter
Dinner: brining turkey legs to smoke

Will take Satchmo for a walk by himself when the rain lets up.

 

Two more days then you can hop on the scale! I have a question about coconut milk. I bought almond milk and the carton said you needed to use it within 7 days of opening. Is that the same with coconut? Also is the fridge stuff better then the stuff on the shelf?

PS- what a cute pup!

 

I didn't like the fridge brand when I got it but don't ask me what it was now coz I don't remember. As for the 7 days, there's about 4 cups per box so it doesn't last long. I use a cup in my smoothies. The almond and cashew milks are pretty blah to me but the coconut milk had a great taste so I'll probably stick with it.

 

Father-in-law's b-day is tonight, so we're taking him out for Mexican. I'll get the steak fajitas, hold the tortillas, beans and rice which I never liked anyway... but to pass up on chips and hot sauce? I'll do it, but makes me sad. I do love hot sauce.

The Invisalign makes eating a real pill. I tried eating with the trays in but food gets all stuck in the trays which is gross. Take them out and the little ridges they put on my teeth to hold it in place scrape the inside of my cheeks and lips. Def makes it easier to skip breakfast when I don't want to futz with them.

My energy is 100 times up from what it was when I first started this, and I've noticed my sleep seems to be adjusting. Typically I wanted to sleep all day, then was up until 3 am. Now I'm awake earlier, and alert instead of dragging myself around until noon. Around 9:30 I'm starting to get tired, and lately I've been crashing around 10:30 or 11.

Breakfast: Skipped
Lunch: Smoked salmon (I could eat this stuff every day), 100g strawberries, 1 cup coconut milk, 100g baby carrots, 2 oz sharp cheddar
Dinner: steak fajitas w/ onions n green peppers
Snacks: salted avocado
Drinks: copious amounts of iced tea, as usual
Exercise: still 10-20 min yoga each day, plus 20 min walking the dogs. I've tried to incorporate the short bursts of manic movement in a few times a week... stupid stuff like unloading chicken feed from the truck can be surprisingly exhausting when you do it as fast as you can, and have to navigate a garage, steps, doors, and dogs.

I have to watch the calories because I tend to go too low. Aiming for 1440 but haven't hit it yet. Had to add cheese today to bring it up to 1200.

So last time I checked I was down 6.4 pounds.
As of today I've lost 11 pounds since March 5.

 

5 pounds since Monday!!! Congrats! Enjoy your FIL's b.day and enjoy your fajitas.

 

Probably mostly water weight but I'll take it. I had to get on and off the scale like five times to be sure because that thing changes its mind a lot. Getting a better one tomorrow when we go to the city.

 

The Mr. just ran off with buddies to Dallas to a ball game so I have the place to myself for a few days. Bit of a relief there. Funny how you don't realize how much you want something until you take it off the menu, and then sit there watching someone else eat it.

Today is a twist-off day. Normally I watch the calories/carb/fat/protien/sugar/blahblahblah like a hawk. Today, meh. I'll stay on the primal but not going to sweat the rest. Been having the munchies lately, not hungry just wanting snackies. Figured today I'd have a few. Been saving this dark chocolate bar for a while, broke off a piece a little bit ago. Also ate strawberries like they were free, heh. Might even make these primal maple coconut cookies I've been eyeballing on Pinterest.

The Invisalign trays have an odd side effect... I drink iced tea all day long and it floods the trays on my teeth. I wind up taking a drink, then sucking the tea out of my teeth. Constantly. Which dries out my mouth, which leads to me drinking more tea. I've gone from a quart of tea a day to almost a gallon. Probably not a very attractive habit but no one is watching ATM and at least I'm drinking a lot more fluid.

Breakfast: 2 eggs over hard, 2 pieces bacon, 1 piece grain free bread w/ sweet cream butter, handful of strawberries
Lunch: STARBUCKS! Vanilla Frappuccino Lite, heh
Snack: organic dark chocolate.... and maybe some maple coconut cookies if I make 'em.
Dinner: leftover smoked turkey leg, baby carrots roasted in butter

 

Since my energy is up and back pain down, I thought I'd add a few things to the day, starting with planks. Oh how embarrassing. Of course I knew some of the back pain was due to a weak core that didn't support my spine, but this proved it beyond any doubt. Barely 5 seconds into an elbow/toe plank I was having a full body shake. Managed to do 10, 5 second elbow/toe ones but think I'll stick with the traditional ones for a while, at least until I can get the duration up to something less cringe-worthy, like 30 seconds. Also did 3 sets of 18 calf raises while defrosting bacon in the microwave, and 3 sets of 10 each of side and backwards leg lifts while waiting for some water to boil. I actually do those every other day, amazing how much time gets spent standing at the sink or stove. Also trying to incorporate the 20 second manic workout like I read in this article the other day, using the back porch steps to run up and down on. Hopefully my neighbors aren't peeking through the fence gaps... I look absolutely Mad Hatter doing it.

Having a hard time incorporating enough veggies. Fruit I'm down with, but the veg tends to get pushed aside. I'll be glad when our garden is producing and I have some fresh zucchini.

Breakfast: Smoothie, 1c cashew milk, 1 small banana, 1 tsp flax seed, with 4 pieces of bacon. @23 carbs that banana does some damage
Lunch: Avocado, can of tuna in water, 2 pieces bacon, 1 tsp olive oil mixed up
Dinner: 8 oz ribeye w 1 tbsp butter on it, 50g baby carrots

Weight: -1.2 lbs from last time, total loss 12.2 pounds.

 

Why do I have visions of "flash dance" in your kitchen......