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Especially for the Wimmen!

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by AlterEgo, Jan 2, 2008.

  1. AlterEgo

    AlterEgo Monkey+++

    She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
    Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
    Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week..
    Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
    And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.


    "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.

    As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

    "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.

    "No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."


    I know I'm not going to understand women.
    I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.


    While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
    Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,
    "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes.."
    He addressed the man,
    "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
    Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?


    A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.
    The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
    He answers that he i s looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
    She directs him down the correct aisle.
    A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
    She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
    He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store
    to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco
    and some rolling papers; ca use it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.
    So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she.
    (I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)


    A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
    An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
    neither of them wanted to concede their position.
    As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
    the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
    "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."



    A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
    30,000 to a man's 15,000.
    The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men..
    The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"



    A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be
    so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
    "The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
    God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
    God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you !


    A man and his wife were having an argument about who
    should brew the coffee each morning.
    The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first,
    and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
    The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and
    you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
    Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
    Husband replies, "I can't believe ​

  2. E.L.

    E.L. Moderator of Lead Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    So what's the punch line?
  3. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    "He Brews" ??

  4. E.L.

    E.L. Moderator of Lead Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Should have known. Now I will set back and wait for the next boob swing,..........I mean mood swing.
  5. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    And I didn't think anyone noticed ..... [LMAO]

    hmmmm...maybe I care less about what others think of me than I thought... [winkthumb]
  6. E.L.

    E.L. Moderator of Lead Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Surely you jest my swash-buckling wench, every man on here saw it, enjoyed, and stayed quiet hoping not to draw attention to it lest it be gone. Kind of like viewing at the beach, mall, wherever and trying not to get caught. Thank God for sunglasses. Just don't let your head swing and all is okay.

    [coo] WTF happened to the boobs smile?
  7. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    Funny. That's the exact argument that got me out of coffee making every morning. :D

    (It's his little contribution to society ;).)
  8. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Nope...I figured no one even noticed...It's just ....well...so "me"...



    ask our resident smiley person what happened.....?? don't know where it went....
  9. ghrit

    ghrit Ambulatory anachronism Administrator Founding Member

    Resident smiley person has not a clue. Have not eliminated any. (But had a couple of dupes that aren't there any longer.) [CRC]
  10. Evenglischatiest

    Evenglischatiest Monkey+++

    It's still there.


    It really doesn't do justice to a good pirate mood swing, though. [drooling]
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