European Union Prefer English

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by TailorMadeHell, Aug 6, 2006.


  1. TailorMadeHell

    TailorMadeHell Lurking Shadow Creature

    The European Union commissioners have announced that an agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

    In the first year, 's' will be used instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard 'c' will be replaced with 'k'. Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

    There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20 persent shorter.

    In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterrent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

    By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' by 'z' and 'W' by 'V'.

    During ze fifz year, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou', and similar changes vud of kors; be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil b no mor trubls or difikultis and evirvun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

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    Anyone hear Jack Boots? :D
     
  2. Quigley_Sharps

    Quigley_Sharps The Badministrator Administrator Founding Member

    :lol: nice one
     
  3. monkeyman

    monkeyman Monkey+++ Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Maybe they could just call it 'New Speak'. lol
     
  4. E.L.

    E.L. Moderator of Lead Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Seig Hiel!
     
  5. Quigley_Sharps

    Quigley_Sharps The Badministrator Administrator Founding Member

    [​IMG]
     
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