1. The Topic of the Month for May 2017 is "Motivationals." Please join the discussion on the Survival Topic of the Month forum.

Explanation of Life

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by ghostrider, Jul 11, 2007.


  1. ghostrider

    ghostrider Resident Poltergeist Founding Member

    Explanation of Life


    On the first day, God created the dog and said: "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in
    or walks past. For this, I will give you a life Span of twenty years.

    The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

    So God agreed.
    On the second day, God created the monkey and said:

    "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

    The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like
    the Dog did?"

    And God agreed.
    On the third day, God created the cow and said:
    "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support
    the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life of sixty years."

    The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the
    other forty?"

    And God agreed again.
    On the fourth day, God created man and said:
    "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."

    But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the
    monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

    "Okay," said God, "You asked for it."
    So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in
    the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten
    years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

    Life has now been explained to you.

    <!-- toctype = X-unknown --><!-- toctype = text --><!-- text --><SCRIPT>var callCount = 0;function rmvScroll( msg ){ if ( ++callCount > 10 ) { msg.style.visibility = "visible"; } if ( callCount < 50 && ! imgsDone( msg ) ) { setTimeout( function() { rmvScroll( msg ); }, 200 ); return; } var delta = msg.offsetHeight - msg.clientHeight; var newWidth = 0; var newHeight = 0; delta = ( isNaN( delta )? 1 : delta + 1 ); if ( msg.scrollHeight > msg.clientHeight ) { newHeight = msg.scrollHeight + delta; } delta = msg.offsetWidth - msg.clientWidth; delta = ( isNaN( delta )? 1 : delta + 1 ); if ( msg.scrollWidth > msg.clientWidth ) { newWidth = msg.scrollWidth + delta; } msg.style.overflow = "visible"; msg.style.visibility = "visible"; if ( newWidth > 0 || newHeight > 0 ) { var ssxyzzy = document.getElementById( "ssxyzzy" ); var cssAttribs = ['#' + msg.id + '{']; if ( newWidth > 0 ) cssAttribs.push( 'width:' + newWidth + 'px;' ); if ( newHeight > 0 ) cssAttribs.push( ' height:' + newHeight + 'px;' ); cssAttribs.push( '}' ); try { ssxyzzy.sheet.deleteRule( 0 ); ssxyzzy.sheet.insertRule( cssAttribs.join(""), 0 ); } catch( e ){} }}function imgsDone( msg ) // for Firefox, we need to scan for images that haven't set their width yet{ var imgList = msg.getElementsByTagName( "IMG" ); var len = ((imgList == null)? 0 : imgList.length); for ( var i = 0; i < len; ++i ) { var theImg = imgList; if ( ! theImg.complete && "undefined" != typeof theImg.naturalWidth && theImg.naturalWidth == 0 ) { return false; } } return true;}var msg = document.getElementById( "message346210246462918822199282802725110180139834869" );if ( oBw.agt.match( /gecko/ ) == "gecko" ) { if ( msg && "undefined" != typeof msg ) { rmvScroll( msg ); }} else { msg.style.visibility = "visible"; }</SCRIPT><!-- END TOC --><FORM name=showLetter2 action=/ym/ShowLetter?Idx=5&Search=&YY=61131&y5beta=yes&y5beta=yes&order=down&sort=date&pos=0 method=post>

    </FORM>
     
  2. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    [applaud]
     
survivalmonkey SSL seal        survivalmonkey.com warrant canary
17282WuJHksJ9798f34razfKbPATqTq9E7