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Faith fun

Discussion in 'Faith and Religion' started by ghrit, Mar 11, 2014.

  1. ghrit

    ghrit Ambulatory anachronism Administrator Founding Member

    Sometimes it happens that serious subjects like F&R have to get a bit of relief in the form of humor. Here are a couple gems.

    A little boy was attending his first wedding.
    After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"
    "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly.
    "How do you know that?"
    "Easy," the little boy said.
    "All you have to do is add it up, like the pastor said,
    4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."

    After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up."

    "That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?"
    "Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway,
    and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen."

    A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service:
    "And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who passed trash against us."

    A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon.
    "How do you know what to say?" he asked.
    "Why, God tells me."
    "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"

    A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on.
    Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered,
    "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"

    Ms. Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favourite Bible stories.
    She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent.
    "The Flight to Egypt," was his reply.
    Pointing at each figure, Ms. Terri said, "That must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus. But who's the fourth person?"
    "Oh, that's Pontius - the pilot!"

    The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
    "No sir," little Johnny replies, I don't have to. My mom is a good cook."

    A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story.
    From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek.
    She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"
    "Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
    "Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?"
    "Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago.
    " Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it, isn't he ?"
  2. Mike

    Mike Ol' Army Sergeant Monkey

    Cute. Thanks for adding
  3. Yard Dart

    Yard Dart Vigilant Monkey..... Moderator Site Supporter++

    "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?" [LMAO]
    Kid's are so funny- nice post Ghrit
    Sapper John and Mike like this.
  4. Mike

    Mike Ol' Army Sergeant Monkey

    Art Linkletter made a career out of kids saying "interesting" things
    kellory and Yard Dart like this.
  5. Minuteman

    Minuteman Chaplain Moderator Founding Member

    Great thread Ghrit! Here's my contribution.

    A country preacher decided to skip services one Sunday to spend the day hiking in the wilderness. Rounding a sharp bend in the trail, he collided with a bear and was sent tumbling down a steep grade. He landed on a rock and broke both legs.
    With the ferocious bear charging at him from a distance, the preacher prayed, "O Lord, I'm so sorry for skipping services today. Please forgive me and grant me just one wish—make a Christian out of that bear that's coming at me!"
    At that very instant, the bear skidded to a halt, fell to his knees, clasped his paws together, and began to pray aloud at the preacher's feet: "Dear God, thank you for this food I am about to receive."

    A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door.
    Therefore, he took out a business card and wrote 'Revelation 3:20' on the back of it and stuck it in the door.
    When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, 'Genesis 3:10.'
    Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter. Revelation 3:20 begins 'Behold, I stand at the door and knock.' Genesis 3:10 reads, 'I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked.'

    A minister told his congregation, “Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17.”

    The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Several went up. The minister smiled and said, “Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying.”
    Yard Dart and Mike like this.
  6. Mike

    Mike Ol' Army Sergeant Monkey

    Those were great, lol
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