long time no see everyone, been a few months. Life is as it always is, trying to move forward just ends up setting me back. I got my first job at a factory in mid-August, really liked it. Low stress, actually made friends(which Is difficult for me), and pay started at 9$ an hour which is fantastic! Just moved out of my parents for the first time in my life too! But then of course I learn my grandpa ends up needing a huge life threatening surgery to be done in October. "Insert anxiety here". I end up having one too many anxiety attacks at work because of this, I thought my grandpa was going to die which would therefore throw my bi-polar mother off the deep end once again for losing her only parent; I honestly worry over my mom as if I'm the parent these past 6 years. So I got fired, I tried explaining the circumstances to no avail of course and am now without a job. This reasserts my thoughts that this crap just isn't a thing with me. I just feel trapped. I just want to find a mentor that can teach me things that are actually useful. Hunting, trapping, brain-tanning, just how to do things yourself without having to rely so heavily on everyone else. I just fricken hate it here. There is no such thing as independence living in society, it's a giant convoluted hive mind that is just far to complex and rigid for me to work well with. How does one find a mentor to teach them these things? I feel like you'd have to go to a fricken Alaskan bar to find yourself a mountain man to teach you this stuff, and even then I would just find myself a creepy axe murderer who wants my scalp with my luck.