Finding a mentor

Discussion in 'Bushcraft' started by BailyTheFox, Nov 13, 2015.

  1. BailyTheFox

    BailyTheFox Monkey+

    long time no see everyone, been a few months. Life is as it always is, trying to move forward just ends up setting me back. I got my first job at a factory in mid-August, really liked it. Low stress, actually made friends(which Is difficult for me), and pay started at 9$ an hour which is fantastic! Just moved out of my parents for the first time in my life too! But then of course I learn my grandpa ends up needing a huge life threatening surgery to be done in October.

    "Insert anxiety here".

    I end up having one too many anxiety attacks at work because of this, I thought my grandpa was going to die which would therefore throw my bi-polar mother off the deep end once again for losing her only parent; I honestly worry over my mom as if I'm the parent these past 6 years.
    So I got fired, I tried explaining the circumstances to no avail of course and am now without a job.

    This reasserts my thoughts that this crap just isn't a thing with me. I just feel trapped. I just want to find a mentor that can teach me things that are actually useful. Hunting, trapping, brain-tanning, just how to do things yourself without having to rely so heavily on everyone else. I just fricken hate it here. There is no such thing as independence living in society, it's a giant convoluted hive mind that is just far to complex and rigid for me to work well with.

    How does one find a mentor to teach them these things? I feel like you'd have to go to a fricken Alaskan bar to find yourself a mountain man to teach you this stuff, and even then I would just find myself a creepy axe murderer who wants my scalp with my luck.
  2. Dont

    Dont Just another old gray Jarhead Monkey Site Supporter+++

    First off, you need to be commended in looking after family... But you must look after yourself and even if you leave your family behind, they will never leave your thoughts and worries.. With few exceptions, you can never except responsibility for another capable adult.. Learn to take care of yourself. That is the basis for self-sufficiency.. The learning of skills, and self confidence only builds on that base..

    Finding mentor's really depends on your activities.. If you frequent places that others of like mind can be found and ask questions about equipment, there are those that you can connect with.. Just remember Op Sec, and use a great deal of caution..
    Topic of the Month - November 2015 OPSEC
  3. Legion489

    Legion489 Rev. 2:19 Banned

    Good to see you back and sorry to here of your problems. You might want to go talk to the local mental health pros and see if you can get some of this off your mind, like worrying about your mother or anxiety attacks.

    Next get out in the world, try to find a good church, take night classes, volunteer, whatever you can do right now. Go to and see if there are any groups in your area that you might have something in common with or would like to try. There is a group on everything out there so finding something that would interest you should be reasonably easy.

    Go to the local library (most likely all libraries in your county are part of the same system and you can go to any of them and get a library card) and check out books on subjects you are interested in. Want to learn to hunt, fish, camp, cook, garden, avoiding creepy ax murders (it is a lie put out by the trolls that hate the truth that I am creepy to make themselves look less sleazy, and besides, the ax murder thing was never proven) or whatever, they should have something. Get other books you might be interested in through the interlibrary loan system, a free or low cost way to get books that they don't have from another library.

    Got room to garden? Start some plants (any) and grow something. Pots of herbs or just something that looks nice on a window sill will often help.

    Do not become dependent on any one person, place or thing. I can't leave home because mom needs me... I have never been to XCV City and don't know any one so I have to say here.... My boyfriend will kill himself if I leave so I have to stay (actually it would probably help the species if you did leave and he did)....I can't... I have to... If I leave... It's your life, go and do!

    Remember you can always talk to us, here, either by posting or sending a PM. Let us know how things are going and remember it is rarely as dark as it seems to be and there are people who care about you, even if it is friends you have never met here.
    Last edited: Nov 13, 2015
  4. Gopherman

    Gopherman Sometimes I Wish I Could Go Back to Sleep

    The biggest problem with a sinking ship, is it's going down whether or not your on it! You sound like you suffering from depression. My son does as well, he watches a lot of self help stuff on youtube, it has helped him immensely!
    Legion489 has great advice. It often helps to talk to someone in person as well, local Churches ( whatever flavor you like, more than Baskin- Robbins) Depression is a heavy trip, your not alone!
    Look forward to seeing your posts!:)
  5. Dont

    Dont Just another old gray Jarhead Monkey Site Supporter+++

    Just stay away from the Muslim’s..
    Pineknot, Gopherman and Mindgrinder like this.
  6. Motomom34

    Motomom34 Monkey+++

    Hi @BailyTheFox and glad you came back. I am so sorry for your troubles, always seems one step forward two steps back but you are gathering strength and knowledge with every step. Sadly as we grow sometimes roles do reverse and we end up caring for the ones that took care of us. It happens but it is real hard.

    I agree with @Legion489 meetup does have some great groups that you can join. Networking is great. You could meet someone who could point you to another group or someone who knows what you want to learn. Please be safe. If your Spidey-sense tingles, move on.
  7. AxesAreBetter

    AxesAreBetter Monkey+++

    If you lived in these parts, I would happily take you out and show you some stuff. I have found that just hitting the woods can do a lot for you (being able to afford a hunting/trapping license also goes a long way). I could recommend a couple of good books and some Youtube channels I learned from.

    That said, mentors are really important. Have not had a lot of time to spend with them myself, but all of the people I have hung out with I found at Rendezvous or livng history events. Might be something you could do as well.

    While I can't say that I know you, I'd like to send my regards. Been through some stuff like that, and it ain't easy to live through.
  8. kellory

    kellory An unemployed Jester, is nobody's fool. Banned

    You might also see if there is a local "Explorers" group near you. They are somewhat like boyscouts but tend to specialize in something like climbing and repelling, or parachuting, or scuba diving. They tend to do quite a bit of camping, or hiking, and wilderness skills. They take males and females.
    Hanzo, pearlselby, Gopherman and 2 others like this.
  9. Mindgrinder

    Mindgrinder Karma Pirate Ninja|RIP 12-25-2017

    If you would like some mentoring on how to deal with bipolar, anxiety and meds...
    Install teamspeak and pm me a time to meet and have a voice chat,
  10. BailyTheFox

    BailyTheFox Monkey+

    I know I've said this a lot and will say it a lot more but thank you. I've never heard of meetup but I'll certainly give it a look. Meeting new people is something I have serious issues doing as I don't leave my domain very often, especially now that I got fired. When I am out I don't shrink away from starting conversations anymore, if anything it seems I'm more outgoing when I'm feeling well than most people (and I really am not!).

    Meeting people (in person) who have the same interests in self sufficiency and animals that I do is extremely hard though. Most people see my collection of dead things in varying stages of deadness and my passion for exotic wildlife that could screw you up if they wanted to seriously disturbing. I know how to collect information, but I want to learn from someone rather than something. I am absolutely a hands on learner and I want to meet new people (or maybe people I already know?) and form new friendships.

    Now, not depending on people and places is definitely a biggie with me but now that I think about it I've been doing extremely well in that department compared to the past. I moved out of my parents house with absolutely no anxiety about the fact that I'm taking another step out from under my parents wings and towards independence. Mentally, I dealt with getting fired excellently to say the least. The extreme and near unbearable rage didn't last long and the despair not as deep. I'm am still absolutely lost though because of it.

    Thank you for pointing out that knowledge is gained from these experiences because I often forget and it's a reassuring thing for me. I also always listen to my spidey senses, they seem rather apt when it comes to people.

    Never heard of explorers, it sounds like a kids thing but I assume it isn't the case? I'll look into it.

    Thank you very much for the offer, when I get my beloved desk-top set up once more I may take you up on the offer!
    chelloveck and Motomom34 like this.
  11. BailyTheFox

    BailyTheFox Monkey+

    God damn, time in the woods and the wild is the best thing in the bloody world. If I could just teleport back to my hike right above Whitier in Alaska back in June I'd stay there forever. Complete solitude and silence, I've never felt so at peace. There are no truelly beautiful forests in my immediate area, all of it is fragmented and people are always all too close. Any YouTube channel suggestions you have would be great. Thank you!
    Also, although It is a long shot I live outside Rochester NY if anyone around is close by.
    chelloveck likes this.
  12. kellory

    kellory An unemployed Jester, is nobody's fool. Banned

    Explorers is for 18 and older. It is after Boy Scouts, (which is up to 18)
    pearlselby and chelloveck like this.
  13. GOG

    GOG Free American Monkey Site Supporter

    I'm on the wrong side of the country probably but you are welcome.
  14. chelloveck

    chelloveck Diabolus Causidicus


    Here are some meet up possibilities you may wish to consider.

    The Rochester Hiking Meetup Group (Rochester, NY)- Meetup

    Church groups are not the only places for social interaction


    Find your people - Meetup
    pearlselby, kellory and Gopherman like this.
  15. tacmotusn

    tacmotusn RIP 1/13/21

    Hi Baily. Finding a mentor can be a problem no doubt. Also you are wise to be wary for the reasons you stated. Do you like to read? I am hoping this is a yes. I had no choice. From 8 years of age I was forced to go to the local library at least twice a week, complete one book a week (time would be extended for good reasons) and make a report on the book I chose. It ingrained in me a lasting love for books. I learned to trap from one magazine and a few inexpensive booklets offered for sale within the pages of that magazine "Fur Fish and Game". The magazine is still in print. I have 4 books for you to read, none of which have anything about brain tanning (you may find that in FFG. I don't think you need to go totally primitive. Hopefully if and when things go totally chaotic, we will not be sent back to the stone age. The books I am offering up are more about self sufficiency, and making do with less. I don't think you need to be a cave woman to survive. How do you feel about guns? The Lord helps those who help themselves. Even some disciples carried swords. Yes I know, the meek shall inherit the earth. Anyone who watches the news or listens to radio knows there is evil loose and among us in this world. You need to be able to protect yourself. A ruger 10-22 semi auto rifle and a 20 ga youth model Remington 870 pump shotgun either or both would serve you well both for personal protection at home or hunting or varmint control and protection of livestock. I am a wealth of worthless trivia and information I will never use, and also an excellent searcher for answers to questions I can't offer up off the top of my old bald head. I am also retired and would be happy to offer up ideas and info sources for any questions you might have. The NRA isn't the evil organization that the lame stream media would make it out to be. They have programs to teach females with no knowledge of firearms gun safety and marksmanship. You can PM me here at Monkey anytime, or just ask a question on the shoutbox if you prefer. There is a vast wealth of info and good people here at Survival Monkey. the books are these.
    Possum Living Possum Living: How to Live Well Without a Job and with (Almost) No Money (Revised Edition): Dolly Freed, David Gates: 9780982053935: Books

    Carla Emery The Encyclopedia of Country Living, 40th Anniversary Edition: The Original Manual of Living Off the Land & Doing It Yourself: Carla Emery: 9781570618406: Books
    The good Life The Good Life: Helen and Scott Nearing's Sixty Years of Self-Sufficient Living: Scott Nearing, Helen Nearing: 9780805209709: Books

    The have more plan The "Have-More" Plan: Ed Robinson, Carolyn Robinson: 9780882660240: Books
    Baily, Try to find these books at the library. Then you decide if they are something you want for yourself. Tac
    Last edited: Nov 14, 2015
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  16. BailyTheFox

    BailyTheFox Monkey+

    Thanks very much for those links, I'll take a look at them right after I fill out some more applications here.

    Thank you very much for the book links! I absolutely love reading, I used to read so much it was even used to be a problem.

    I have no problems with guns lol, I don't have much experience with them myself but I can easily ask my dad to work with me some more on it. Or I could ask my uncle Rob. He is a strange, strange man, kinda weirds me out a truthfully but he would definitely be able to teach me a LOT.
    GOG, Ganado, tacmotusn and 1 other person like this.
  17. BailyTheFox

    BailyTheFox Monkey+

    Anyone here ever just sell most of their shit and take off to who knows where? My urge to just flee is really strong, I just want to leave the state, find a beautiful massive wilderness area, and dig myself a nice den on a dry hillside. Maybe I'll eat bugs and run about on all fours while snarling at other humans. I honestly think living in a consistently dry earthen den or cave sounds so comfortable. I'd have no time to sulk and worry, just live. I just want to go someplace and live. Is anyone here a homesteader or mountain man/woman willing to take in someone wanting to learn lol?
  18. Ganado

    Ganado Monkey+++

    @BailyTheFox We all need other people. No one lasts long by themselves. The tricky bit is to find people you can tolerate [grouphug]good luck I hope you find what you are looking for.
    Tikka, chelloveck and Motomom34 like this.
  19. Motomom34

    Motomom34 Monkey+++

    LOL! That is quite the image. Maybe you do not need to go that far. Let me see what I can think of.

    I just told someone that I have a mug that says, "Bloom where you are planted". I think my mug is smarter then me. A place is a place but what inside is what matters.

    It is super hard but....
    Last edited: Nov 26, 2015
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  20. chelloveck

    chelloveck Diabolus Causidicus

    Oh man....there have been plenty of times when I have just wanted to up sticks and just move somewhere else. Which, I did. I went to Adelaide in South Australia from Sydney with only what I had in my back-pack and kit bag and no job to go to. I stayed almost three years. Found a job there, made some friends. Joined the Country Fire Service (as a volunteer), and enjoyed every minute of it.

    When I get the urge to do that again....I play the Pina Colada song...only the two people in the song represents the different aspects of me....there is no running away from myself....My Id, Ego and Super Ego, are all running a four legged race through life, and there is no separating us...until we shuffle off our mortal coil...together. So, we just make the best of it, and enjoy the life that we have.

    Some things are best planned for, rather than just surrendering to impulse...especially if you want to live in the boondocks. Being alone in the wild, can be a transcendental some cases, it has unfortunately become a terminal experience.
    Last edited: Nov 26, 2015
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