For Sale: AGM-114K Hellfire Missile, Slightly Damaged.

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Yard Dart, Sep 16, 2015.

  1. Yard Dart

    Yard Dart Vigilant Monkey Moderator


    Hi, we found this laser-guided anti-tank missile on our farm in Carthage, NY the other day. Seems to be in good working condition, save for some minor paint damage. It would look really great whether it’s hanging from an Apache helicopter, or even as a going away present for a company commander.

    Prefer to be contacted via email.

    Asking $1,000 OBO. Buyer must arrange own transportation.

    Do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers.

    Craigslist For Sale: AGM-114K Hellfire Missile, Slight Damage.
  2. Brokor

    Brokor Live Free or Cry Moderator Site Supporter+++ Founding Member

    Yard Dart likes this.
  3. UncleMorgan

    UncleMorgan I like peeling bananas and (occasionally) people.

    Mega bogus!

    If they even have a Hellfire missile mere possession is a major felony. And if they have one that the Army lost, the Army still owns it, and they'll definitely be wanting it back.

    I'll bet ya Feds were knockin' on their door sixty minutes after that was listed.

    Unless, of course, it was listed by a bunch of Feds trying to bust anyone that might like to have a nice Hellfire missile in their
    illegal militia armory, along with all the machine guns and stolen nuclear weapons.

    That listing, BTW, comes close on the heels of a news report about a "training/inert" Hellfire that an Army helicopter lost.

    I guess the bungee cords must have broke, because it apparently just "fell off" its weapons rack.


    BTW, I think that glass dome on the front is actually synthetic sapphire. They used to use Germanium crystal, but those babies go so fast that just zipping thru a few clouds would abrade a Germanium dome to the point that the missile could no longer track its target. Just a little trivia, there.

    Unfortunately, the method I developed to make those domes (or any other shape) out of monocrystalline sapphire didn't
    get picked up by the DOD.

    What it boils down to is those missiles aren't cheap, and asking a mere thou for one is like offering to sell a new BMW for the price of a Happy Meal.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 16, 2015
    Dunerunner likes this.
  4. azrancher

    azrancher Monkey +++

    Wait, what about our 2nd A rights?

    Did we give them up....

  5. Yard Dart

    Yard Dart Vigilant Monkey Moderator

    The king decreed that....did you not get the memo?!
    Tully Mars likes this.
  6. Witch Doctor 01

    Witch Doctor 01 Mojo Maker

    I guess someone hasn't been reading the presidential findings...
  7. BTPost

    BTPost Stumpy Old Fart,Deadman Walking, Snow Monkey Moderator

    Your 2nd Amendment Rights do NOT cover, Destructive Devices, AND "Any other Weapon" classifications under the National FireArms Act..... Oh well....
    Witch Doctor 01 likes this.
  8. Witch Doctor 01

    Witch Doctor 01 Mojo Maker

    Well actually prior to congress getting their fingers in it.......
    Tully Mars, oldawg and Mountainman like this.
  9. UncleMorgan

    UncleMorgan I like peeling bananas and (occasionally) people.

    In writing about the felonyality of missile possession I was referring only to the restrictive laws on the books. Not their validity. As a 2nd Amendment issue, the Constitution is quite specific: "the right to keep and bear arms...". And that's the operative word. It doesn't say the right to keep and bear guns. Guns are merely one kind of "arm". Knives are arms. Clubs are arms, and so are bows and arrows. And, no matter how much the Federal Government hates the thought (and denies the fact), so are machine guns, rocket launchers, flamethrowers, mines, artillery cannon, tanks, fighter aircraft, nuclear bombs, and ICBMs equipped with Biological Warfare Agents.

    And, the 2nd Amendment (in the manner that it enunciates the natural, perfect, eternal, and pre-existing, Right of the Citizen) makes no provision for ANY limitation of that right, or any excuse for or means of stripping that right from anyone.

    Got a crazy neighbor? I mean a certifiably psychotic gibbering nutz-o super-fruitcake from Hell?

    He has the same perfect right to own nuclear weapons that you have. And guns, too. Even if he's crazier than a plaid rabbit, and a danger to himself and/or others.

    And so do newborn babies, and the small children they will so quickly grow up to be.

    Picture this: A whole classroom full of First-Graders, all packing heat, and being taught their Readin', Writin', and 'Rithmetic by a VERY polite teacher. (Makes for an an instantaneous emotional reaction, doesn't it?) But would it actually result in Carnage in the Classroom? Blood ankle-deep in the halls? A nation-wide shortage of Second-Graders?

    Think that through before you leap to a conclusion, either way.

    Danial Boone (they say) kilt him a b'ar when he wuz only three. If he did, it was only possible because he had already been taught the right way to handle a firearm.

    (Me, I shot a hole in ceiling when I wuz only two--because I hadn't been taught the the right way to handle a firearm.)

    I often hear people say they support the 2nd Amendment, but that no one should have the right to own machine guns.

    That's how people deny the actuality of the 2nd Amendment. What they are saying is really "I think it's ok for you to have any weapon I approve of."

    BIG difference.

    But this is all just pointless philosophy. It's all moot. The government has already usurped the 2nd Amendment, and every other right if finds inconvenient.

    That's what governments do. To maintain their power.

    In a few hundred years (or maybe next Tuesday) when the populace revolts, and throws all those bums out of office, they'll reinstate our God-given Rights, and then the new government will promptly start usurping them all over again.

    That's what governments do.
    oldawg and Dont like this.
  10. Dunerunner

    Dunerunner Brewery Monkey Moderator

    Would have bought it but the HazMat shipping was atrocious!!! :eek:

    The 2A, as defined by those who don't understand the 2A; is all about hunting ducks.

    The 2A was put in place should the people ever have to change government by force of arms.
    oldawg, Dont, Tully Mars and 2 others like this.
  11. kellory

    kellory An unemployed Jester, is nobody's fool. Banned

    "The right to bear arms is second of importance, only to the Constitution itself. for it is the people's teeth." Attributed to George Washington.
    oldawg, Tully Mars and Dunerunner like this.
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