For the Texans!

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by CRC, May 23, 2007.

  1. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Not a joke...but didn't know where else to put made me smile!
    I thought this was pretty amusing. Somebody from California apparently wrote the top part, which is pretty weak, but somebody from Texas came back and put them on their asses at the bottom.


    - I can wear sandals all year long

    - I go to the Beach - not "down to the shore"

    -Our chicks are WAYYYY hotter than yours. Well...Miami can hang.

    - I say "like" and "for sure" and "right on" and "dude" and "totally" and "peace out" and "chill" and "tight" and "bro" and I say them often

    - I know what real cheese & avocados taste like

    -Everyone smokes weed and its no big deal

    -We'll roll up 40 deep when something goes down.

    -I live next door to Mexicans, but we call them American's!

    -All the porn you watch is made here, cause we're better and thats how it is

    - I don't get snowdays off because theres only snow in Mammoth, Tahoe, Shasta, and Big Bear

    - I know 65 mph really means 100

    - When someone cuts me off, they get the horn and the finger and high speed chase cuz we dont **** around on the road

    - The drinking age is 21 but everyone starts at 14 (legally 18 if you live close enough to the border)

    - My governor can kick your governors ass

    - I can go out at midnight

    -You judge people based on what area code they live in, and when asked where you're from, you give your area code

    - I might get looked at funny by locals when I'm on vacation in their state, but when they find out I'm from California I turn into a Greek GOD

    - We don't stop at stop signs... we do a "california roll"
    No cop no stop baby!

    - I can get fresh and REAL Mexican food 24 hours a day

    - All the TV shows you "other" states watch get filmed here

    - We're the Golden State. Not the Cheese State. Not the Garden State.....GOLDEN!!!

    - We have In-N-Out (Arizona and Vegas are lucky we share that with them)

    - I have the most representation in the House of Representatives, which means MY opinion means more than yours, which means I'm better than you [geez.... hahaha]

    - The best athletes come from here




    Ahem... So.. Um.. yeah... I read this, and thought I would reply...

    Hey... California listen up... Texas is where its at!

    - I too can wear sandals all year long... just depends what time of day it is...

    - You may be able to go to the "beach" instead of the "shore"... but can you go to the drive thru "Beer Barn?" What now surfer boy?

    - You're chicks aren't way hotter than ours... they are almost equal... and thats only due to silicone, saline, botox, lasers and hair dye... We have the real ones and they can beat yours up... not to mention they're intelligent!!!

    - We're taught to say "Yes Sir" and "Yes Ma'am" and respect our elders because of it. We also say "Howdy" and "fixin" and "Yall" are pretty much recognized right away anywhere in the world :) We're famous

    - You may know what real cheese and avocados taste like... but I know what 100% Grade A Angus Beef tastes like. Who wants avocados and cheese when you can have steak and potatoes? Who wants avacados and cheese anyway?

    - Haha... who do you think grows the weed and sells it to you?

    - Why roll 40 deep when something goes down if 5 corn fed country boys can get the job done...

    - I live next door to americans, but we call them mexicans

    - About your Porn.... 3 words... "Debbie Does Dallas"... You can brag about it now, but we started it

    - Why would you brag about not getting snow days off?

    - We're smart enough to know 65mph means 65, but our speed limit is 70.

    - - When someone cuts me off, they get run over by my big ass truck, then I give them the finger and tell them to go back to california...AND..remember its Leagl for me to carry my firearm in TEXAS!

    - The drinking age is 21, but if you aren't chasin the beer by 1 yr old... you're behind.

    - Yeah, Well my governor became the President of the United States... yours isn't even eligible.

    - You can go out at midnight? Thats nice, I haven't even come home by then.

    - Ok... you said,"You judge people based on what area code they live in, and when asked where you're from, you give your area code" and as hard as I try I have no idea what you're talking about... I think you're watching too much tv.

    - Yeah, you'll definitely get looked at funny when you come to visit but we have another name for you pretty boys, and its not greek, its french.

    - Of course you don't stop at stop signs... you all drive like shit.

    - You can pick up Real mexican food 24 hours a day huh... well I can swing by home depot and pick up 24 Real mexicans anytime of day. Can you say catering?

    - All the tv shows get filmed there... but where does your favorite poker game come from? there's no California Hold'em?

    - You can keep your golden state... We're the Lone Star State...the one and only!!

    - Do I have to remind you about the drive thru Beer Barn again? Does In-N-Out serve alcohol? (Oh and did I mention Dr. Pepper was created in Texas?)

    - You guys have the best athletes huh?... Eight words... Lance Armstrong and The University of Texas at Austin

    Though I could mention MICHAEL JOHNSON - Olympic Sprinter, World record holder in 200m and 400m, 5 Olympic Gold metals, 9 time World Champion (born Dallas, Tx)

    Oh and remind me again who won the Rose Bowl between USC and Texas????? I believe it was the LONGHORNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    - Football is a religion, not a sport

    - In Texas, football means football, not soccer.

    - 90% of football "movies" you guys are making are about Texas Football.

    -Varsity Blues, filmed in Georgetown, Tx - Friday Night Lights, filmed in Odessa, Tx - Necessary Roughness, filmed in San Marcos, Texas

    - Texas is the only state that can still separate to become its own country. The only way California's gonna accomplish that is if another earthquake comes along and you guys sink into the ocean. Can you say Atlantis.... hahaha

    Come on Texans Show Your Colors! Repost!

    And as the Great Sam Houston once said "Texas could survive without the United States, but the United States could not survive without Texas"
  2. E.L.

    E.L. Moderator of Lead Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    It was pretty good up until the t.u. post. NO!!
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