Friday chuckles! Have a great weekend

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Witch Doctor 01, Nov 5, 2010.


  1. Witch Doctor 01

    Witch Doctor 01 Mojo Maker

    Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?

    Here is a little test that will help you decide.

    The answer can be found by posing the following question:

    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
    children.


    Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the
    corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the
    knife, and charges at you.

    You are carrying a Model 1911 45 cal. automatic pistol, and you are an
    expert shot.

    You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you
    do?


    THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN:


















    Democrat's Answer :


    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
    Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him
    that would inspire him to attack?
    Could we run away?
    What does my wife think?
    What about the kids?
    Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of
    his hand?
    What does the law say about this situation?
    Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
    Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does
    this send to society and to my children?
    Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
    Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound
    me?
    If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while
    he was stabbing me?
    Should I call 9-1-1?
    Why is this street so deserted?
    We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this a happier,
    healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
    This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for
    few days and try to come to a consensus.


    ...........................................................................



    Republican's Answer:



    BANG!


    .......................................................................




    Redneck's Answer:


    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    Click..... (Sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    BANG! BANG! BANG!
    BANG! BANG! Click
    Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips
    or Hollow Points?!'
    Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'
    Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist :D



     
  2. tacmotusn

    tacmotusn Mosquito Sailor

    I guess I am a republican/redneck, the first round was center of mass, as was the second. They were a split second apart and knocked him on his butt. As our eyes met, I fired a 3rd round and gave him a 3rd eye right above his nose. To fire more rounds would be wasteful and unnecessary.
     
  3. VisuTrac

    VisuTrac Ваша мать носит военные ботинки Site Supporter+++

    with a S&W 500 you'd only need one shot.

    all kidding aside. I surround my self with democrats. i just keep my distance. they make good bait and 'canary in the coal mine' fodder.
     
  4. fireplaceguy

    fireplaceguy Monkey+

    Best line: Wife: "You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist"

    Reminds me of when Jeff Cooper wrote about hunting bin Laden as if he were some kind of game animal. He noted that Osama was 6'4" and said "that's a long Arab..."

     
  5. fireplaceguy

    fireplaceguy Monkey+

    One other note: I wasn't aware that Democrats could shoot.
     
  6. STANGF150

    STANGF150 Knowledge Seeker

    Sure they can. First they back the Bull up to the cannon. Then let him do his business. Lead the bull away. Then they take careful aim being sure to get their adoring liberal media in the target area. Then they FIRE!!!
     
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