From Missouri to The Marine Corps..

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by CRC, Dec 5, 2007.

  1. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    subtitled: this one's for you MonkeyMan..[beer]


    Dear Ma and Pa,

    I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

    I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m.
    But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do
    before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.

    Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water. Breakfast is
    strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind
    of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other
    regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon
    when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.

    We go on "route marches," which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

    The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.

    This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting
    medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the
    Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and
    hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges They come in boxes.

    Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to
    wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about
    the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver
    Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'8" and near 300 pounds dry.

    Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

    Your loving daughter,
  2. kckndrgn

    kckndrgn Monkey+++ Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

  3. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

  4. crehberg

    crehberg Monkey+++

  5. ozarkgoatman

    ozarkgoatman Resident goat herder

    Sadly this is so far from the truth. Most all of the kids around here are like their parents, fat and lazy. :mad: But the story it's self is funny. [beer]

  6. ColtCarbine

    ColtCarbine Monkey+++ Founding Member

  7. monkeyman

    monkeyman Monkey+++ Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Yup, we still got some of the old fashioned country boys around here that I could see sending home letters like that.
  8. annie

    annie Monkey+++

    Eh Monkeyman, did ya notice it was signed by ALICE, loving daughter ??? It's great. lol annie
  9. Nomad 2nd

    Nomad 2nd Monkey+++

    Change it to P.I. that's where they train the women. Only men get to be Hollywood Marines!
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