God Plays Golf

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Falcon15, Oct 5, 2010.

  1. Falcon15

    Falcon15 Falco Peregrinus

    Moses and Jesus were in a threesome playing golf one day.
    Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. The ball landed in the fairway, but rolled directly toward a water hazard. Quickly Moses raised his club, the water parted and it rolled to the other side, safe and sound.

    Next, Jesus strolled up to the tee and hit a nice long one directly toward the same water hazard. It landed right in the centre of the pond and kind of hovered over the water. Jesus casually walked out on the pond and chipped the ball onto the green.

    The third guy got up and randomly whacked the ball. It headed out over the fence and into oncoming traffic on a nearby street. It bounced off a truck and hit a nearby tree. From there, it bounced onto the roof of a shack close by and rolled down into the gutter, down the drain spout, out onto the fairway and straight toward the aforementioned pond. On the way to the pond, the ball hit a stone and bounced out over the water onto a lily pad, where it rested quietly. Suddenly a very large bullfrog jumped up on a lily pad and snatched the ball into his mouth. Just then, an eagle swooped down and grabbed the frog and flew away. As they passed over the green, the frog squealed with fright and dropped the ball, which bounced right into the cup for a hole in one.

    Moses turned to Jesus and said, "I hate playing with your Dad."
  2. Witch Doctor 01

    Witch Doctor 01 Mojo Maker

    Jesus and Moses where playing golf one day when Jesus hit a hook shot which left him with a particularly difficult shot to the pin across a water hazard.... "Hmm" said Jesus "I wonder what Arnold Palmer would do with a shot like this"... "well" said Moses "I think he would use a 5 iron".... "Are you sure" queried Jesus?” let’s try it”... so he looks at Gabriel who is his caddy and asks for a 5 iron... he waddles in and it's a beautiful lofting shot... but a little short The ball hits the water hazard and floats gently on the top... “You sure he'd use a 5 iron?” asks Jesus … “Yep” replies Moses “last week on wide world of sports his ball landed near here he used a 5 iron and landed 4 feet from the pin”... “well” says Jesus i'll have to try it again... he snaps his fingers and another ball appears in the exact same place as the first one... again he swings... it's a beautiful lofting shot but again it's short... “Moses I’m disappointed in you I wouldn't have thought you'd mislead me like this” says Jesus and he walks out on the water to collect his extra ball. A second couple playing through stops and sees Jesus walking across the water...and says to Moses...."who does he think he is Jesus Christ?" Moses replies, "No he thinks he's Arnold Palmer."
  3. gettingoldsucks

    gettingoldsucks Monkey+

    Awesham Jokes , Thanks
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