Greater Los Angeles Area Driver's License Application..

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by CRC, Jul 22, 2007.

  1. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Name: _______________ Stage name: ________________

    Agent: ______________ Attorney: __________________

    Sex: ___male ___female ___formerly male
    ___formerly female ___both

    If female, indicate breast implant size: ____

    Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely
    operate a motor vehicle in any way? Yes___ No ___

    Please list brand of cell phone: __________________
    (If you don't own a cell phone, please explain.)

    Please check hair color:
    Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde
    Teenagers: [ ] Purple [ ] Blue [ ] Skinhead

    Please indicate activities you perform while driving:
    Check all that apply)
    [ ] Eating
    [ ] Applying make-up
    [ ] Talking on the phone
    [ ] Slapping kids in the back seat
    [ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs
    [ ] Tanning
    [X] Snorting cocaine (already checked for ease of application)
    [ ] Watching TV
    [ ] Reading Variety magazine
    [ ] Surfing the net via laptop

    Please indicate how many times
    a) You expect to shoot at other drivers: _____
    b) How many times you expect to be shot at while driving: _____

    Please indicate your number of therapy sessions per week: ____

    Are you presently taking any of the following medications?
    a) Prozac
    b) Zovirax
    c) Lithium
    d) Zanax
    e) Valium
    If none, please explain: _______________________________

    What is the length of your daily commute?
    a) 1 hour
    b) 2 hours
    c) 3 hours
    d) 4 hours or more

    TEST (Please indicate the correct answer):

    If you are the victim of a car jacking, you should immediately:
    a) Call the police to report the crime
    b) Call Channel 4 News to report the crime, then watch your
    car on TV in a high-speed chase
    c) Call your attorney and discuss a lawsuit against the cellular
    phone company for your 911 call not going through
    d) Call your therapist
    e) None of the above (South Central residents only)

    In the event of an earthquake, you should:
    a) Stop your car
    b) Keep driving and hope for the best
    c) Immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones
    d) Pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 4

    In the event of rain, you should:
    a) Never drive over 5 MPH
    b) Drive twice as fast as usual
    c) You're not sure what "rain" is

    When stopped by police, you should:
    a) Pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form ready
    b) Try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the 405
    c) Have your video camera ready and provoke them to attack,
    ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit

    Please turn your test in to the lady behind the bulletproof
    virtual window on your left.


    Now...if that wasn't bad of the guys that responded posted this:

    <TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD colSpan=2><HR></TD></TR><TR><TD colSpan=2>you laugh.... i have a friend in the film industry and he once brought over an 8x10 head shot photo to show me. on the back you list any special qualifications or talents you have.

    she listed, yes you guessed it. a drivers license

  2. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

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