Groaners--

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by ghrit, May 20, 2016.


  1. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    Groaner.
     
  2. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    It’s a little known fact that Francis Scott Key originally wrote slightly different lyrics to what became our national anthem. When he saw Old Glory ensnared in the wooden mastwork of a sailing ship during the battle at Fort McHenry, he was inspired to compose a line about the “spars-tangled banner”.

    And an organizational note:
    The members selected for the rest-room location committee are: Dawn D. Hall, Trudy Doors, and Onda Wright.
    (That last one gets credited to my cousin --)
     
    AndyinEverson likes this.
  3. Merkun

    Merkun furious dreamer

    And more -


    • Venison for dinner again?
    Oh deer!


    • How does Moses make tea?
    Hebrews it.


    • England has no kidney bank,
    but it does have a Liverpool.


    • I tried to catch some fog,
    but I mist.


    • They told me I had type-A blood,
    but it was a Typo.


    • I changed my iPod's name to Titanic.
    It's syncing now.


    • Jokes about German sausage
    are the wurst.


    • I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid,
    but he says he can stop any time.


    • I stayed up all night to see where the sun went,
    and then it dawned on me.


    • This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club,
    but I'd never met herbivore.


    • When chemists die,
    they barium.


    • I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
    I just can't put it down.


    • I did a theatrical performance about puns.
    It was a play on words.

    • Why were the Indians here first?
    They had reservations.


    • I didn't like my beard at first.
    Then it grew on me.


    • Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job
    because she couldn't control her pupils?


    • When you get a bladder infection,
    urine trouble.


    • Broken pencils
    are pointless


    • What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
    A thesaurus.


    • I dropped out of communism class
    because of lousy Marx.


    • I got a job at a bakery
    because I kneaded dough.


    • Velcro –
    what a rip off!


    • Don’t worry about old age;
    it doesn’t last.
     
  4. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    And a couple more -

    Had the bird flu last week. Ok, now, got some tweetment.
    Couple of months ago, had the swine flu. Got some oinkment.
    Definition of a fenderberg.....chunks of ice which accumulate in your wheel wells in the winter.
     
    AndyinEverson likes this.
  5. GuitarPlayer

    GuitarPlayer Monkey

    Screen Shot 2018-08-08 at 2.06.54 PM.
     
    Zimmy likes this.
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