1. We are exceedingly sorrowful to report that one of the Founding Members has passed on. Dee (Righthand) is well remembered as contributing much to the operation of SurvivalMonkey, and is already greatly missed. Little lady, big person.

Groaners--

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by ghrit, May 20, 2016.


  1. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    Groaner.
     
  2. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    It’s a little known fact that Francis Scott Key originally wrote slightly different lyrics to what became our national anthem. When he saw Old Glory ensnared in the wooden mastwork of a sailing ship during the battle at Fort McHenry, he was inspired to compose a line about the “spars-tangled banner”.

    And an organizational note:
    The members selected for the rest-room location committee are: Dawn D. Hall, Trudy Doors, and Onda Wright.
    (That last one gets credited to my cousin --)
     
    AndyinEverson likes this.
  3. Merkun

    Merkun furious dreamer

    And more -


    • Venison for dinner again?
    Oh deer!


    • How does Moses make tea?
    Hebrews it.


    • England has no kidney bank,
    but it does have a Liverpool.


    • I tried to catch some fog,
    but I mist.


    • They told me I had type-A blood,
    but it was a Typo.


    • I changed my iPod's name to Titanic.
    It's syncing now.


    • Jokes about German sausage
    are the wurst.


    • I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid,
    but he says he can stop any time.


    • I stayed up all night to see where the sun went,
    and then it dawned on me.


    • This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club,
    but I'd never met herbivore.


    • When chemists die,
    they barium.


    • I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
    I just can't put it down.


    • I did a theatrical performance about puns.
    It was a play on words.

    • Why were the Indians here first?
    They had reservations.


    • I didn't like my beard at first.
    Then it grew on me.


    • Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job
    because she couldn't control her pupils?


    • When you get a bladder infection,
    urine trouble.


    • Broken pencils
    are pointless


    • What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
    A thesaurus.


    • I dropped out of communism class
    because of lousy Marx.


    • I got a job at a bakery
    because I kneaded dough.


    • Velcro –
    what a rip off!


    • Don’t worry about old age;
    it doesn’t last.
     
  4. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    And a couple more -

    Had the bird flu last week. Ok, now, got some tweetment.
    Couple of months ago, had the swine flu. Got some oinkment.
    Definition of a fenderberg.....chunks of ice which accumulate in your wheel wells in the winter.
     
    AndyinEverson likes this.
  5. GuitarPlayer

    GuitarPlayer Monkey

    Screen Shot 2018-08-08 at 2.06.54 PM.
     
    Zimmy likes this.
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