Hallmark Cards we don't have.....but need...

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by CRC, Sep 1, 2006.


  1. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY :

    My tire was thumping.
    I thought it was flat
    When I looked at the tire...
    I noticed your cat.
    Sorry!
    [​IMG]
    Heard your wife left you,
    How upset you must be.
    But don't fret about it...
    She moved in with me.
    [​IMG]
    Looking back over the years
    that we've been together,
    I can't help but wonder...
    "What the hell was I thinking?"
    [​IMG]
    Congratulations on your wedding day!
    Too bad no one likes your husband.
    [​IMG]
    How could two people as beautiful as you
    Have such an ugly baby?
    [​IMG]
    I've always wanted to have
    someone to hold,
    someone to love.
    After having met you ..
    I've changed my mind.
    [​IMG]
    I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
    I never believed in Hell until I met you.
    [​IMG]
    As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
    That you're not here to ruin it for me.
    [​IMG]
    Congratulations on your promotion.
    Before you go...
    Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
    You'll probably need it again.
    [​IMG]
    Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
    (Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)
    [​IMG]
    Happy birthday! You look great for your age.
    Almost Lifelike!
    [​IMG]
    When we were together,
    you always said you'd die for me.
    Now that we've broken up,
    I think it's time you kept your promise.
    [​IMG]
    We have been friends for a very long time ..
    let's say we stop?
    [​IMG]
    I'm so miserable without you
    it's almost like you're here.
    [​IMG]
    Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
    Did you ever find out who the father was?
    [​IMG]
    Your friends and I wanted to do
    something special for your birthday.
    So we're having you put to sleep.
    [​IMG]
    So your daughter's a hooker,
    and it spoiled your day.
    Look at the bright side,
    it's really good pay.
     
  2. ghostrider

    ghostrider Resident Poltergeist Founding Member

    Hey, I can get in enough trouble by myself, I don't need your suggestions.
     
  3. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member



    Now now.....Fun shared is fun doubled..... :D
     
  4. ghostrider

    ghostrider Resident Poltergeist Founding Member

    Ohay, let me try this:
    C, just for you:
    Your friends and I wanted to do
    something special for your birthday.
    So we're having you put to sleep.
    [​IMG]
    So your daughter's a hooker,
    and it spoiled your day.
    Look at the bright side,
    it's really good pay.<!-- / message --><!-- sig -->
     
  5. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member



    hmmmmm....

    Try again...

    That's just not workin' for me....:rolleyes:
     
  6. ghostrider

    ghostrider Resident Poltergeist Founding Member

    Dang wimmin, tricked me again. I thought I was being swavvy and deboner with them pomes. It was your idea.
     
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