Having a bad day?

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Minuteman, Jul 28, 2009.

  1. Minuteman

    Minuteman Chaplain Moderator Founding Member

    Ok. I don't believe half of these would pass the Scopes test but their funny none the less.

    Things Got Ya Down? Well Then, Consider These .

    In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always
    died on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am , regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it
    had something to do with the super natural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 AM Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents. The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 AM all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits. Just when the clock struck 11:00 , Stanley Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.

    Still Having a Bad Day?

    The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the
    Exxon Valdez Oil spill in Alaska was $80,000.00. At a special ceremony, two
    of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild
    amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a
    killer whale ate them both.


    Still think you are having a Bad Day?

    A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen
    shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire
    running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him
    away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking
    his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to
    his Walkman.

    Are Ya OK Now? - No?

    Two animal rights defenders were protesting the cruelty
    of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn , Germany . Suddenly, all two
    thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding
    madly. The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.


    What? STILL having a Bad Day?

    Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage
    on a letter bomb. It came back with 'Return to Sender' stamped on it.
    Forgetting it was the bomb; he opened it and was blown to bits. God is Good!


    There now, Feeling Better?
  2. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    Feeling much better. Thank you. :)
survivalmonkey SSL seal        survivalmonkey.com warrant canary