THE YEAR'S BEST (actual) HEADLINES OF 2006: Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says [No, really ?] Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers [Now that's taking things a bit far!] Crack Found on Governor's Daughter [Imagine that!] Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? [Whaaat??] Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over [What a guy!] Miners Refuse to Work after Death [No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-sos!] Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant [See if that works any better than a fair trial!] War Dims Hope for Peace [I can see where it might have that effect.] If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile [You think?] Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures [Who would have thought...] Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide [They may be on to something!] Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges [You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?] Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge [He probably IS the battery charge.] New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group [Weren't they fat enough?] Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft [That's what he gets for eating those beans.] Kids Make Nutritious Snacks [Do they taste like chicken?] Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half [Chainsaw Massacre all over again!] Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors [Boy, are they all tall!!] Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead [Did I read that sign right?]
Reminds me of my favorite from a local paper "Board of Directors make offer to Screw Stockholders" The company was American Screw
That was in the Willimantic Chronicle, Willimantic CT during the 70s. The paper still has a framed copy of this page in their office with a sign over it saying "Oops"
