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Headlines

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Seacowboys, Mar 1, 2007.


  1. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    THE YEAR'S BEST (actual) HEADLINES OF 2006:



    Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
    [No, really ?]



    Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
    [Now that's taking things a bit far!]



    Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
    [Imagine that!]



    Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
    [Whaaat??]



    Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
    [What a guy!]



    Miners Refuse to Work after Death
    [No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-sos!]



    Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
    [See if that works any better than a fair trial!]



    War Dims Hope for Peace
    [I can see where it might have that effect.]



    If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
    [You think?]



    Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
    [Who would have thought...]



    Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
    [They may be on to something!]



    Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
    [You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]



    Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
    [He probably IS the battery charge.]



    New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
    [Weren't they fat enough?]



    Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
    [That's what he gets for eating those beans.]



    Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
    [Do they taste like chicken?]



    Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
    [Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]



    Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
    [Boy, are they all tall!!]



    Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
    [Did I read that sign right?]
     
  2. RightHand

    RightHand Old Pioneer in a New World Moderator Founding Member

    Reminds me of my favorite from a local paper

    "Board of Directors make offer to Screw Stockholders"

    The company was American Screw
     
  3. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    :lol:
    Priceless
     
  4. ChemicalGal

    ChemicalGal Monkey+++

    They were all good, but this was the best
    cg
     
  5. RightHand

    RightHand Old Pioneer in a New World Moderator Founding Member

    That was in the Willimantic Chronicle, Willimantic CT during the 70s. The paper still has a framed copy of this page in their office with a sign over it saying "Oops"
     
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