Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Seacowboys, Mar 1, 2007.

  1. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    THE YEAR'S BEST (actual) HEADLINES OF 2006:

    Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
    [No, really ?]

    Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
    [Now that's taking things a bit far!]

    Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
    [Imagine that!]

    Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

    Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
    [What a guy!]

    Miners Refuse to Work after Death
    [No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-sos!]

    Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
    [See if that works any better than a fair trial!]

    War Dims Hope for Peace
    [I can see where it might have that effect.]

    If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
    [You think?]

    Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
    [Who would have thought...]

    Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
    [They may be on to something!]

    Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
    [You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]

    Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
    [He probably IS the battery charge.]

    New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
    [Weren't they fat enough?]

    Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
    [That's what he gets for eating those beans.]

    Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
    [Do they taste like chicken?]

    Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
    [Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

    Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
    [Boy, are they all tall!!]

    Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
    [Did I read that sign right?]
  2. RightHand

    RightHand Maslow's Contradiction Moderator Founding Member

    Reminds me of my favorite from a local paper

    "Board of Directors make offer to Screw Stockholders"

    The company was American Screw
  3. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

  4. ChemicalGal

    ChemicalGal Monkey+++

    They were all good, but this was the best
  5. RightHand

    RightHand Maslow's Contradiction Moderator Founding Member

    That was in the Willimantic Chronicle, Willimantic CT during the 70s. The paper still has a framed copy of this page in their office with a sign over it saying "Oops"
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