Health Concerns

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Altoidfishfins, Jul 23, 2016.

  1. Altoidfishfins

    Altoidfishfins Monkey+++ Site Supporter+

    I am sorry I have not been very responsive to you good people lately. I have been
    somewhat under the weather. My doctors have diagnosed me as having an acute
    case of Post Islamic Stress Trauma with Apologetic White House Fatigue,
    PIST-AWF (Pronounced pissed-off.)

    PIST-AWF is a newly defined disease that has become widespread and highly
    contagious. Doctors at the CDC released a statement disclosing PIST-AWF as a
    new disease. It has already infected over half of the United States and is
    anticipated to continue to spread. The disease itself affects the cells of a
    person's entire body then goes dormant. The disease ravages the body and
    leaves serious side effects including, embarrassment for your country,
    depression, anxiety as to when it will come to an end and wondering how much
    more damage he can do and how long it will take to repair the damage, once a
    new person takes over the presidency.

    Symptoms include:

    * Severe pain of the scalp from pulling your own hair while viewing your
    president pander to Muslim terrorists.
    * Uncontrollable heartburn at 8:00 PM during the O'Reilly factor.
    * Stomach cramps from swallowing the fact we elected Obama twice.
    * Vomiting from viewing terrorists murdering innocent people routinely on the
    nightly news.
    * Bleeding from the eyes. This is not Ebola. It is your eyes reacting to
    accidentally flipping to a channel that shows Al Sharpton as a so-called
    legitimate news show host.
    * Since the disease consumes the entire body, every infected person is then
    identified as the disease itself.

    If you have these symptoms and consider yourself PIST-AWF, please notify your
    local election board and place your name on the list for a cure. It is
    expected, and sincerely hoped, that the cure will be available in November of
    2016, but will not have a marked effect until January, 2017.

    I hope to feel better soon.
    Mountainman, 3M-TA3, duane and 12 others like this.
  2. Oltymer

    Oltymer Monkey++

    As a practicing natural healer I recommend a nuclear strike along with a good nights rest. Call me in the morning, and I'll recommend more target areas for strikes which will continue until you are feeling better.

    Get well soon!
  3. Bandit99

    Bandit99 Monkey+++ Site Supporter+

  4. OldDude49

    OldDude49 Just n old guy

    I unashamedly stole that! (y)
    Altoidfishfins likes this.
  5. Dunerunner

    Dunerunner Brewery Monkey Moderator

    Me, Too..... :p
    Altoidfishfins likes this.
  6. Pax Mentis

    Pax Mentis Philosopher King |RIP 11-4-2017

    As did I
    Altoidfishfins likes this.
  7. Altoidfishfins

    Altoidfishfins Monkey+++ Site Supporter+

    Don't feel bad. I did too.
  8. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    Thieves united. I joined yesterday.
    Altoidfishfins likes this.
  9. oldawg

    oldawg Monkey+++

    Stole it myself.
    Altoidfishfins likes this.
  10. techsar

    techsar Monkey+++

    I merely "re-allocated" it...can't stand thieves [lolol]
    Altoidfishfins likes this.
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