1. Given the media intensity given to the Covid 19 (otherwise known as Corona or Wuhan) virus, there seems no reason to have posts on that very specific subject in several forums Accordingly, all of those posts will be moved to "Headlines". All new items on that subject should be posted there as well. This notice will expire on 30 April, or be extended if needed. Thanks, folks.


Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by ghostrider, Mar 12, 2006.

  1. ghostrider

    ghostrider Resident Poltergeist Founding Member


    * When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant.
    * Get even with a bear who raided your food bag by kicking his favorite stump apart and eating all the ants.
    * Old socks can be made into high fiber beef jerky by smoking them over an open fire.
    * When smoking a fish, never inhale.
    * A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm. A hot enchilada works almost as well, but the cheese sticks between your toes.
    * You'll never be awakened by the call of a loon if you have an unlisted number.
    * The best backpacks are named for national parks or mountain ranges. Steer clear of those named for landfills.
    * Acupuncture was invented by a camper who found a porcupine in his sleeping bag.
    * While the Swiss Army Knife has been popular for years, the Swiss Navy Knife has remained largely unheralded. Its single blade functions as a tiny canoe paddle.
    * Modern rain suits made of fabrics that "breathe" enable hunters to stay dry in a downpour. Rain suits that sneeze, cough, and belch, however, have been proven to add absolutely nothing to the wilderness experience.
    * Lint from your navel makes a handy fire starter. Warning: Remove lint from navel before applying the match.
    * You can duplicate the warmth of a down-filled bedroll by climbing into a plastic garbage bag with several live geese.
    * When camping, always wear a long-sleeved shirt. It gives you something to wipe your nose on.
    * You can compress the diameter of your rolled up sleeping bag by running over it with your car.
    * A two-man pup tent does not include two men or a pup.
    * A potato baked in the coals for one hour makes an excellent side dish. A potato baked in the coals for three hours makes an excellent hockey puck.
    * It's entirely possible to spend your whole vacation on a winding mountain road behind a large motor home.
    * Bear bells provide an element of safety for hikers in grizzly country. The tricky part is getting them on the bears.
    * A great deal of hostility can be released by using newspaper photos of politicians for toilet paper.
    * In an emergency, a drawstring from a parka hood can be used to strangle a snoring tent mate.

  2. Quigley_Sharps

    Quigley_Sharps The Badministrator Administrator Founding Member

survivalmonkey SSL seal        survivalmonkey.com warrant canary