Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Witch Doctor 01, Jan 10, 2011.

  1. Witch Doctor 01

    Witch Doctor 01 Mojo Maker

    Can you cry under water?

    How important does a person have to be before they are considered
    assassinated instead of just murdered?

    If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

    Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

    Why do you have to "put your two cents in" ... but, it's only a
    "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

    Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you
    were buried in for eternity?

    Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

    What disease did cured ham actually have?

    How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it
    would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

    Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies
    wake up like every two hours?

    If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

    If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

    Why are you 'IN' a movie, but you're 'ON' TV?

    Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
    binoculars to look at things on the ground?

    How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty
    for Miss America?

    If a 911 operator has a heart attack, who does he/she call?

    Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

    Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?

    Who was the first person to look at a cow and say,
    "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here,
    and drink whatever comes out!"

    Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
    crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

    Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

    When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you
    to smile?
    If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going
    to be smiling?

    If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

    Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

    If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut,
    why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

    Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
    point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

    Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
    They're both dogs!

    What do you call male ballerinas?

    Can blind people see their dreams?
    Do they dream?

    If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap,
    why didn't he just buy dinner?

    If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
    what is baby oil made from?

    If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

    Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

    Why does the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star
    have the same tune?

    Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

    Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere,
    but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

    Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,
    but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
survivalmonkey SSL seal warrant canary