Actual Warning Labels.. "Dispose of contents after usage." - Found on disposable diapers. "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." - Found on a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists. "Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows." - Found on a box for a window air conditioner. "Warning: May contain nuts." - Found on peanut butter container. "Do not jump from vessel while moving." - Found on cruise-ship railing. "Do not use orally after using rectally." - Found in the instructions for an electric thermometer. "This broom does not actually fly." - Found on the label of a toy witch's broom. "Peel fruit from cellophane backing before eating." - Found on the package of a fruit roll-up snack. "For external use only." - Found on a curling iron. "For best results start with clean bathtub before use." - Found on a bottle of bathroom cleanser. "Do not drive with sunshield in place." - Found on a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard. "Warning: Contents are strong. For adult stomachs only." Found on a box of chocolates. "Do not eat toner." - Found on a toner cartridge for a laser printer. "Not intended for highway use." Found on a 13-inch wheel for a wheelbarrow. "Other side for use." - Label on the bottom of a cup. "Warning: May contain small parts." - Found on a Frisbee. "Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." Found on a portable stroller. (My favorite....duh....) "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." - Found on a bottle of dog shampoo. "Warning: Grease in chips may cause anal leakage." - Found on a popular brand of potato chips.