CONTROVERSY: Should the tree be real or fake? YUPPIE: Live tree, planted after use MALE: Fake tree, discarded after use FEMALE: Grow tree in house, adorned with fruits REALITY: Fake tree stays up until May, adorned with fur-balls <><><><><> CONTROVERSY: Should tree lights twinkle or stay constant? YUPPIE: Each bulb blinks to its own random rhythm MALE: Bulbs flash logo of football team FEMALE: Elegant flickering candles REALITY: Tree bursts into flames, burns house down <><><><><> CONTROVERSY: Should tree be topped with an angel or a star? YUPPIE: Gender-neutral angel; no submissive female stereotype MALE: Blonde angel, kneeling, in a wet T-shirt FEMALE: Authentic angel explains true meaning of Christmas REALITY: Hell's Angel steals the tree and the gifts <><><><><> CONTROVERSY: Do ya fling or hang tinsel? YUPPIE: Empower each strand with self-determining skills MALE: Six large clumps of tinsel on front of tree FEMALE: Each icicle hangs like strand of delicate artwork REALITY: More icicles on floor than on tree <><><><><> CONTROVERSY: Do ya open gifts on Christmas Eve or morning? YUPPIE: Gifts opened on posted, individual schedules so all enjoy surprise MALE: Anytime, just so it doesn't interfere with football FEMALE: Anytime the entire family is present REALITY: Doesn't matter, everyone's peeked anyway <><><><><> CONTROVERSY: Ham or Turkey for Christmas Dinner? YUPPIE: Baked Tofu Balls stuffed with wheat germ MALE: Anything, as long as there's plenty of both it...and beer FEMALE: A meal the entire family plans and prepares REALITY: Spriral Cut Honey Ham , bought with all the fixin's....
Reminds me of when my daughter was a wise-azzed teenager. I used to get live balled trees to plant outside but no matter what I tried, they never lived. One year she asked if I was going to get a dead tree (cut) or a live one and kill it myself!
This has been a Mom/I controversy for... well... forever. She puts it on ONE at a time, never two too close together. I used to try and double (or triple) up, give it a fling, have some fun with it. Busted every time! "One at a time", she'd remind me ~sigh~ In her defense; her trees are picture-perfect and some of the most beautiful I've ever seen. She even matches the present wrapping to the color/theme of the tree. Every year it's different, though it always matches. Either a single color or coordinating colors. It's something special to see. You should've seen it the one year that she used angel hair and mirrors. Awesome!
