Holidays & Family

Discussion in 'Firearms' started by Cruisin Sloth, Apr 1, 2013.

  1. Cruisin Sloth

    Cruisin Sloth Special & Slow

    I just had the worst Easter of my entire life.
    My family and I had my mother-in-law over for Easter.
    She never did like me.
    After our dinner she somehow ended up in our bedroom and started snooping around.
    Keep in mind I do some gun cleaning up in our room sometimes before putting guns into the safe.
    She found some shoulder holsters and a Colt Forged (not extruded) Rifle Receiver Tube among some other things under our bed.

    She came down stairs in a huff and started to demand answered to our MARITAL PRACTICES.

    She accused us of being into "H&M". I said that was a store in the mall.
    She became irate and accused me of engaging in "LIVASHIOUS" acts with her daughter.
    I told tried to explain that it was not what she was thinking.
    All the while she was holding something behind her back.

    Then came her outburst "Oh yeah!?! Then what is THIS?!?"

    At that moment she presented what she was hiding behind her back.
    She then proceeded to hit me in the face with a 1/2 empty tube of Premium Froglube CLP.

    She called me a pervert and said I was corrupting her daughter.

    She said "Don't think I don't know what you are doing with THIS and that other thing."
    "Your going to hell pervert!" she said.
    "I always knew you were a queer!" she said.

    My wife ran up the stairs crying and saying she "Wants a Divorce."

    The MiL said "You're damn right you are getting a divorce!"

    I didn't even get a word in edgewise to explain that the Froglube is actually for cleaning a protecting my guns and has never been used for any sort of nefarious purpose.

    I tried to assure her that you would not want to use a product with me mentholiptus internally.

    I tried to explain that the Colt Forged (not extruded) Receiver Tube was a very expensive Colt OEM part for a future AR build.
    I tried to explain the Mass Gun Laws and AWB as to why I could not have a collapsable stock on a post ban AR lower.

    She called me a "Sicko"

    "And I guess you tie my little girl up too, don't you?- With those leather straps."

    I tried to explain the leather gear is part of my shoulder rig.

    She said that the stuff under the bed was bad enough but what made it so much worse was the darn "FROGLUBE".

    "I know they test that stuff on animals * too you queer!"

    * She is a big PETA supporter.

    The MiL went up stairs and my wife was hysterical.

    Then the MiL came downstairs with some of my clothes and told me to leave my own house or she'll call the authorities.

    She didn't believe a thing I said so I took my stuff and left.

    Now I am over my friends house on the other side of town where he is letting me sleep tonight using his PC to log into NES.

    Froglube is the best CLP product for guns but it may have ended my marriage.

  2. Witch Doctor 01

    Witch Doctor 01 Mojo Maker

    1. Head back to the house... so you don't get a divorce decre based on abandonment...
    2. Tell your MIL that she neds to leave
    3. Your wife should know better if you were using your FrogLube for anything other than guns and should so inform her mother
    4. Reccommend that she should call the authorities if it's your house.... because you are tired of her tresspasing.
    5. If your MIL is so woried about her daughter and unwilling to listen tio you, and your wife is unwilling to stand up for you... consider ending the marriage it must not be based on a willingness to suppotr each other...
    6. If you want to salvage the marriage... find a "shooter" who is a member of the clergy to explain to the MIL... about gun lube and parts, and recommend that she mind her own business instead of causing issues in anothers marriage...

    I'm not a marraige counselor, but i have had to counsel troops before.... YMMV
    Tracy likes this.
  3. DMGoddess

    DMGoddess Monkey+++

    I agree 100%. [ditto]
    I've been married for 28 years, and I've never supported my mother over my husband (we won't go into my relationship with my mother, it's irrelevant). If your wife can't explain guns to her mother, then either you have the wrong wife, she has the wrong mother, or she needs to grow a spine. Not trying to run your life or marriage, but trying to be a friend. Just sayin'.
    Tracy likes this.
  4. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    1- Agree Abandonment is a quick way to permanent barring.
    2- Agree
    3 -Agree (when she calms down.)
    4-Your house, your rules. She goes, whether or not she calls in the cops. (Cops will know what that stuff is, and laugh her out the door.) She caused the problem with snooping, an unforgivable intrusion.
    5-Take your time with that, wifey was clearly intimidated by her mummy.
    6-Fuggedaboudt it. She won't listen. I had one of those.
  5. BTPost

    BTPost Stumpy Old Fart,Deadman Walking, Snow Monkey Moderator

    April Fools..... Hook, Line, & Sinker...... and if by some very wierd chance it is NOT, You have my Sympathies....
    Motomom34 likes this.
  6. Witch Doctor 01

    Witch Doctor 01 Mojo Maker

    Possible, I did think about that... but regardless I will still try to offer help to a fellow monkey... If it's other wise the Information still stands to help anyone else in the future....
    ghrit likes this.
  7. DMGoddess

    DMGoddess Monkey+++

    I thought of that, for about 5 seconds, and then I decided to treat it as real. I can laugh at myself if it's a joke, and if not, then I helped someone, or tried to.
  8. Cruisin Sloth

    Cruisin Sloth Special & Slow

    April Fools ?
    Yes , Have a great day All !!!

    Sloth's both :p
    Mechwolf and Motomom34 like this.
  9. BTPost

    BTPost Stumpy Old Fart,Deadman Walking, Snow Monkey Moderator

    It will always be a Monkey Classic, from NOW, till Eternity.... Sloth....
    Motomom34 likes this.
  10. tacmotusn

    tacmotusn RIP 1/13/21

    Finally one hook I didn't bite on. And here I was going to reccommend a two man operation I just may know of called "dirty deeds done dirt cheap". I am reasonably sure neither one of them have any love lost for MIL's. They could take her for a ride for you. ............ LOL
    Happy April Fools
  11. NotSoSneaky

    NotSoSneaky former supporter

    Had to be. No self respecting Monkey would be caught dead on NES. [tongue]
  12. DMGoddess

    DMGoddess Monkey+++

    Glad to know it's not real. Not sorry I took it seriously. Have a happy. :p
  13. Cruisin Sloth

    Cruisin Sloth Special & Slow

    If I was to Have Sex like I imagined the MiL was dreaming , We'd be broken.
    In the 70's was our days ...
    Thanks for the serious replys , hope all had a chuckle..
  14. Gray Wolf

    Gray Wolf Monkey+++

    Had me going for a while, then I realized what day this is, and I was hoping for a joke, and it was!
    Happy ending for all!
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