Home Depot Behind COVID-19 Pandemic?

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by 3M-TA3, Apr 28, 2020.

  1. 3M-TA3

    3M-TA3 Cold Wet Monkey Site Supporter++

    Men Demand End To Lockdown Before Wives Start Any More Home Improvement Projects

    U.S.—The nation's men have urged their state and local governments to end their respective lockdowns before their wives start any more massive home improvement projects they'll inevitably have to help with.

    Projections indicate that for every week the lockdown continues, your spouse will start an average of 17.5 new DIY home improvement projects, from painting a room or refinishing an old dresser to putting up shiplap or barn doors.

    "This is a crisis. I'm basically living in an HGTV show now," shouted Los Angeles man Edgar Willis as his wife, Heather, operated a circular saw. "She knocked down a wall yesterday. I'm not even sure she knew why. She just wanted to knock something over, I think."

    "Yeah, I'm coming!" he yelled to his wife as she asked for his help nailing in another row of shiplap on their bedroom wall.

    A poll found that 97% of spouses have started knocking things over, putting up crown molding, nailing in baseboards, tearing up carpet, and hanging shiplap on every imaginable surface during the quarantine.

    "This must end."
    3cyl, Brokor, Gator 45/70 and 13 others like this.
  2. Yard Dart

    Yard Dart Vigilant Monkey Moderator

    I have 8 acres of projects..... outside of the home remodel......God help me and send the HGTV rescue folks.... OMG
  3. Cruisin Sloth

    Cruisin Sloth Special & Slow

    @Yard Dart
    Im seeing that if you don't do it ,, or look it up / OR whatever !!
    YOURSELF , you get wasted time and lip service ..Your a tradesman , like Myself ,,'Just do your own thing , less hassle !! Tired of kids who know squat !
  4. Yard Dart

    Yard Dart Vigilant Monkey Moderator

    I work at it daily sir!!!!
  5. Cruisin Sloth

    Cruisin Sloth Special & Slow

    I thought So !
  6. Ura-Ki

    Ura-Ki Grudge Monkey

    I'm living in HGTV Hell, those dumb bastards keep showing all these amazing things, things I cant afford to do, and what's worse, they are all done in a 1/2 hour! Damn my ass if I can even find my beer in less then a half hour, drag all the tools out, cuss a bunch as I have to make yet another trip to Depot to get more crap because the spousal unit changed her damn mind, AGAIN, and then some how, i'm expected to get it all done before dinner!
  7. Cruisin Sloth

    Cruisin Sloth Special & Slow

    And the Lip you got was not the lip you were expecting !!!
  8. Merkun

    Merkun furious dreamer

    Or wished for. :lol:
  9. Oddcaliber

    Oddcaliber Monkey++

    Lowes isn't helping much either by staying open!LOL
  10. Brokor

    Brokor Live Free or Cry Moderator Site Supporter+++ Founding Member

  11. arleigh

    arleigh Goophy monkey

    Beer or bidet which are you going to spend your stimulus check on?
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