Home Remedies

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by CRC, Sep 19, 2005.


  1. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Amazingly Simple Home Remedies Rules for staying healthy

    1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of
    boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost
    instantly removed.

    2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
    someone else to hold them while you chop away.

    3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply
    using the sink.

    4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a
    few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a
    timer.

    5. A mousetrap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from
    rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

    6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you
    will be afraid to cough.

    7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will
    forget about the toothache.


    Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:

    You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.

    A: If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.

    B: if it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
     
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