How early.......

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by wrc223, Dec 24, 2011.


  1. wrc223

    wrc223 Monkey+

    How early is TOO early to start drinking on Christmas eve?
    Between the kids, the animals, and the combined heat of a hot wood stove and an oven pumpin out pies, roasts, and other holiday goodies, I needed a cold stiff drink. I opted with the tall glass of a 50/50 mix of burbon and ginger ale. As I get to the bottom of these things, I am understanding the whole Christmas cheer thing!!
    I dunno, lemmie get to the bottom of a couple more and I will gain the mental clarity needed to answer two questions, does it make me an alcoholic to have my first drink at 11:30am and is it assault to duct tape a mother in law's mouth closed with official holiday red and green duck tape?
    My wife said when the popper thingy goes up on the turkey we can switch to shots. Grandma and grandpa are playing beer pong in the basement and listening to jimmy hendrix christmas music.
    The kids are sufficiently sugared up and running around the tree screaming at the pile of presents at the bottom. Of course they knocked the train off the tracks so it is just laying on it's side chugging along with the headlamp illuminating a line in the carpet. I dont give a ****, yeah, I said it. I DONT F****N CARE!! Let the train wear a hole in the carpet, what the hell do I care.
    Mother in law bitchin about me buying a pink red ryder BB gun for the 5 year old. Whah, whah, whah......first thing I am going to do is buy a dozen targets shaped like a hogs ass and teach my 5 year old how to use that thing and then turn her loose on ole granny (she HATES being called granny......the mother in law, not the 5 year old).
    I spent the morning wrapping more freekin presents than I KNOW my curtain climbers deserve. Is it possible to get carp in yer tunnel from wrappin presents?
    Ya know, the more I sit here and listen to the old hags yap run from the other side of the f***** house, I think it is time to test that duct tape.

    Merry Christmas you monkey bastards! I hope it is a great one for ya!!
     
  2. ghrit

    ghrit Ambulatory anachronism Administrator Founding Member

    Living alone on holidays has some advantages, I can listen to Christmas music and actually enjoy it. (And, there is no such thing as too early.)
     
  3. Gator 45/70

    Gator 45/70 Monkey+++

    Here...Proper Louisiana measure....
    Merry Christmas...ccc...
    2 Finger's.JPG
     
    larryinalabama likes this.
  4. Seawolf1090

    Seawolf1090 Adventure Riding Monkey Founding Member

    Ditto! I am celebrating a lone "Festivus", and a little toddy now and then goes nicely - I am NOT driving anywhere or using heavy machinery. Just snuggling down, listening to the Christmas Station, hitting youtube for some favorites, and just enjoying the downtime.

    I am jazzed - actually am finding videos of MY own little navy ship - launching Harpoons, sailing in heavy weather and doing Helicopter Ops, Bringing back the fond memories.

    Life is good...... [booze]
     
    tulianr likes this.
  5. melbo

    melbo Hunter Gatherer Administrator Founding Member

    You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning.
    I enjoyed a chocolate martini with my wife for breakfast.

    1/2 Creme de Cacao
    1/2 Vanilla Absolut.
     
  6. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    I have Forrest Green Duct Tape...not nearly as festive but easier to hide in the brush
     
    Sapper John and tulianr like this.
  7. ditch witch

    ditch witch resident bacon hoarder Site Supporter+

    Cranberry Margaritas.
    That is all.
     
  8. tulianr

    tulianr Don Quixote de la Monkey

    I keep finding new reasons why I love this group. I thought my house was the only one like the above description. It's good to know that I wasn't alone in asking my wife this morning, "Is it too early to start drinking?"

    Is there anyone else out there who cleans guns on Christmas eve? Me and my wife have been doing that for years, and I've always assumed that we were the only crazies who did so. After getting to know this group, I'm no longer so sure of that.
     
  9. Espada

    Espada Monkey+

    Mine are cleaned after every shoot, but it's raining here in Texas now, so I'll run a patch through the bores of some I haven't messed with in a while. Right now I'm loading .50 BMGs, so I'll wait till that's finished before popping a top on a Shiner Bock. Merry Christmas, Bro', and Semper Fi !
     
    larryinalabama likes this.
  10. STANGF150

    STANGF150 Knowledge Seeker

    No cleaning guns fer me. Christmas Eve morn I was loaded up & headed south with my Mother to my Brothers for the night. Late tomorrow morning I'll beheaded back home TG!!! Cuz here I sit in just a few miles north of Atlanta GA. Wonder if I put enough ammo in my E&E bag in the truck.........

    Eyeballing the tequilla bottle in my brother's liquor cabinet.
     
  11. larryinalabama

    larryinalabama Monkey++

    Cleaning up a little after round one, round 2 coming shortly, Then have to do it all over in the morning. Loving every minute of it, and will be glad when its over.

    Merry Christmas
     
  12. Mechwolf

    Mechwolf Monkey+

    Christmas doesn't start in my neck of the woods until you have your first drink. When It comes to my family I have to be medicated before I get to Mom's house. So 10 a.m. is usually the start but this is the only day of the year I start early
     
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