I Hate Winter..

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by CRC, Dec 8, 2005.

  1. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    60 above zero
    Floridians turn on the heat.
    People in North Dakota plant gardens.

    50 above zero
    Texans shiver uncontrollably.
    People in Minot sunbathe.

    40 above zero
    Italian and English cars won't start.
    People in North Dakota drive with the windows down.

    32 above zero
    Distilled water freezes.
    The water in Grand Forks gets thicker.

    20 above zero
    Alabamans don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and wool hats.
    People in North Dakota throw on a flannel shirt.

    15 above zero
    New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
    People in North Dakota have the last cookout before it gets cold.

    People in Miami die.
    North Dakotans close the windows.

    10 below zero
    Californians fly to Mexico.
    People in North Dakota get out their winter coats.

    25 below zero
    Hollywood disintegrates.
    The Girl Scouts in North Dakota are selling cookies door to door.

    40 below zero
    Washington, D.C., runs out of hot air.
    People in North Dakota let their dogs sleep indoors.

    100 below zero
    Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
    North Dakotans get frustrated because they can't start their trucks.

    460 below zero
    Atomic motion stops at absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.
    People in North Dakota start saying, "Cold 'nuff, yet?"

    500 below zero
    Hell freezes over.
    North Dakota public schools close.
  2. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    As long as Ted the Swimmer and our friend Di Fineswine are there, it ain't goona happen. :evil:
  3. Cousin Jack

    Cousin Jack Knifemaker Founding Member

    So true.

    I am wearing shorts and a T-shirt right now (it is 30 degrees out here in WI)...if the dog needs to go outside, I may...maybe put on a flannel shirt while waiting for him.

    When I lived in Upper Michigan, city workers had to locate parked cars with sticks after a serious snow storm before they began plowing.

    I also lived in the South for a short time...I remember one day that it actually snowed (less than an inch) and the entire city shut down. It was hilarious.
  4. TailorMadeHell

    TailorMadeHell Lurking Shadow Creature

    Okay, real life situation. I hate winter and snow. Was in KY working and decided to put my name in the snow in the yellow way. Foot slipped and fell face forward into the yellow snow and went through a drift that was about three feet deep. Funny now, not so then. Still hate snowbanks. Guess you could say I made a deposit with a hasty withdrawal.
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