60 above zero Floridians turn on the heat. People in North Dakota plant gardens. 50 above zero Texans shiver uncontrollably. People in Minot sunbathe. 40 above zero Italian and English cars won't start. People in North Dakota drive with the windows down. 32 above zero Distilled water freezes. The water in Grand Forks gets thicker. 20 above zero Alabamans don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and wool hats. People in North Dakota throw on a flannel shirt. 15 above zero New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in North Dakota have the last cookout before it gets cold. Zero People in Miami die. North Dakotans close the windows. 10 below zero Californians fly to Mexico. People in North Dakota get out their winter coats. 25 below zero Hollywood disintegrates. The Girl Scouts in North Dakota are selling cookies door to door. 40 below zero Washington, D.C., runs out of hot air. People in North Dakota let their dogs sleep indoors. 100 below zero Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. North Dakotans get frustrated because they can't start their trucks. 460 below zero Atomic motion stops at absolute zero on the Kelvin scale. People in North Dakota start saying, "Cold 'nuff, yet?" 500 below zero Hell freezes over. North Dakota public schools close.