I wish I had a button

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Seacowboys, Jul 30, 2007.

  1. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    If I had a “make it alright” button, I’d start pushing it in the morning when I wake up and I’d keep pushing it until everything was ok.. I don’t have a button that does that. I just have to accept that there are many things that I cannot change, no matter how badly I would want them to change. I don’t like wasting my time on things that I cannot change.
    Life ends. It really is as simple as that. The point where life ends has no relationship to fairness or just desserts If this were not so, then a list of people that I wish ill would have succumbed to steam-rollers years ago. I could push the button once and my friends would out-live me, twice and my enemies would be paper thin and sun-dried. I could forget about grief and learn the true joy of dancing on the graves of those that cause consternation.
    I do not have many things that give me joy, with the exception of my family and friends. And my dogs. When I hear that one of my friends is dying, my first wish is that I could change that but reality will not let that happen. If I can’t change the fact that they are dying, then what can I do to make their passing easier? How can I help them face the fear and unknown? Maybe all I can do is help finish all the little loose ends. Maybe all I can do is remember the joy that we shared. Maybe all I can do is wait until they are gone. If I only had that button, the paint would be worn from its little round surface.
  2. Quigley_Sharps

    Quigley_Sharps The Badministrator Administrator Founding Member

    I’m sorry Sea I wish you had a button too, I know you were and are a great friend with your friends, I can feel it in your passions when you write about things you care about.
  3. NVBeav

    NVBeav Monkey+++

    Unfortunately, like you alluded to, we all share in the grief of living and dying. We lost a little gold fish this weekend and my 4-yr-old daughter was weeping -- I could feel her pain, but it made me even more sad to know she'll have worse losses someday.

    God's Word comforts me, and I hope it will comfort my daughter when I'm stepping into eternity.

    Psalm 54
  4. Bear

    Bear Monkey+++ Founding Member Iron Monkey

    Sorry to hear about your friend....
    I've wished for that same button many times.... my uncle who taught me everything about hunting, fishing, healing, not giving up and listening to nature and the world around us.... has cancer and is putting up the good fight.... it hurts.... it's heartbreaking... I feel helpless.....
    Life's pretty short in the end... close family and good friends are life's rare treasures... it just sucks when things like this happen
    Prayers and good thoughts sent for your friend, his family and his good friends....
    Take Care,
  5. kckndrgn

    kckndrgn Monkey+++ Moderator Emeritus Founding Member


    I know exactly how you feel, and I to mean exactly. Today my father is getting a PET scan, tomorrow he, and the rest of the family, will know just how bad his cancer is and if there is anything that can be done.

    I got a call from my mom last Monday saying that she took my dad to the ER with a temp of 106. After some X-Rays they found a "mass" in his lung, after a test, it was confirmed to be cancer. My dad was a smoker for close to, if not more than, 40 yrs and the Dr's said it was caused by smoking.

    So yeah, I know how ya feel. You and your friend have my prayers.
  6. Tango3

    Tango3 Aimless wanderer

    kckndrgn; Lost my dad the same way,my folks brushed his condition off and tried to hide it from us...Go spend time with him now, even if he doesn't want to talk...Sorry for your pain..
  7. sheen_estevez

    sheen_estevez Monkey+++

    Spend as much time with them as you can, even if nothing is said, just being there is all that matters.

    I had a friend die of cancer a few years ago, they figure he got it from Nam, I resisted going to see him because I didn't want to see him that way, my wife finally pushed me to go see him because he kept asking for me, spent the better part of the day with him, he died 2 days later, I'm glad I spent the time with him, wished I would have spent more time with him.
    I have another friend that found out she has lung cancer, at first they gave her a month to live, that was a year ago, we make sure we stay in touch and get together when we can.

    In that respect life sucks, seems like the good people of this world are struck down in the prime of life.
  8. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    Holly is my dear wife's best friend. She was here a few weeks ago and complained of a sore back. The Doctors finally located a small break in her tail-bone and we all thought it was a joke. She had a blood-clot in her leg last week and the doctors discovered she had lung cancer and it had already spread to other organs and her brain. She only has a short time to get her affairs in order. My wife is flying to Michigan to sit with her, basically on a death watch. My regrets are for not being able to ease my wife's grief and not being able to lend her the strength to share with her dying friend. I recognized long ago, the necessity of dying and learned to isolate grief from pleasant memories. But I thank you all for your kind thoughts and prayers.
  9. kckndrgn

    kckndrgn Monkey+++ Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    My prayers are with you and your wife. I know what she is going through. Yesterday my dad got the results of his PET scan. Cancer has spread to other areas. He meets with the oncologist today to find out what, if any, treatment options are available.

    Needless to say, a trip home is in the works.
  10. lehcpa

    lehcpa Just a Bean Counter


    Our two year old was diagnosed with cancer on 4/13/2006. Needless to say, we were devistated. The treatment drained his little body down to nothing, but he made it much better than others that we were close with. He is now off treatment and will have his third off-treatment scans on Monday. Each time we near time for scans, we become nervous wrecks. Last time, they saw a spot on his lungs, but turned out to be the button on his shirt. That made for a couple of very anxious hours before we got confirmation that it was nothing to worry about. We take one day at a time and try to keep life as normal as possible for him and the entire family.

    We will add your friend to our prayers and hope for the best outcome for her.
  11. Tango3

    Tango3 Aimless wanderer

    My God; my heart goes out to you guys,,,( do what you will to me but leave my kids alone!!)I can't imagine what you must go through with the little one..
  12. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    I wish you had a button, too, Sea.

    [beer]Here's to life so precious to live,
    To friends; all the smiles and the love that they give.
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