If you won the lottery...............

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Motomom34, Jan 12, 2016.

  1. Yard Dart

    Yard Dart Vigilant Monkey Moderator

    AMEN!! With a new shiny boat at that. ;)
    Zimmy, Dunerunner and Gator 45/70 like this.
  2. Tackleberry

    Tackleberry Krieg Hündchen

    First, keep my mouth shut. Create a trust for my family, NFA specific trust as well as a separate ('ghost') trust to share the proceeds without other people knowing who the help was coming from:

    1. Keep working and enjoying life and family. Retire in a few years as to not draw sudden unwanted attention.
    2. Use the ghost trust to make contracts with local schools to teach subjects of my choosing as a grant; German language, strings in band and advanced science/math above what they have. This is in addition to paying for improvements on the school buildings.
    3. Buy up local vacant properties to keep undesirables out, improve them and sell them to desirables with my own selling clause attached.
    4. Investments through the family trust. You have to have income coming back in otherwise you will eventually go broke.
    5. Use the ghost trust to give $14,000 checks to people of my choosing annually for a few years; don't want them to quit their jobs, nor would I want to pay a 49% gift tax to the feds.
    6. Buy a few toys: M113, FA M-2 .50, FA M240, CUCV, FA MP5SD, a new tractor with blade and backhoe and build a nice Morton building as a play house. Very selfish huh?
    7. Go visit some family in the Fatherland before it is completely conquered by the Trojan Camel invasion.
    8. Refurbish my pickup truck.
    9. Extend security procedures on our land.

    There would be a few other considerations to such a large windfall. First, the more likely people are to want to violently rob/kidnap you and your family to extort your money. Second, people will become dependent on you to live quitting their jobs if you just outright gave them a large sum of cash; many have no self control and would destroy themselves. Third, people would be going out of their way to file nuisance lawsuits on you to get an easy payout.
  3. Motomom34

    Motomom34 Monkey+++

    Back in 2016 there was the historic jackpot of 1.4 billion. I looked this morning and Megabucks is at 1.6 billion. Lottery fever is sweeping the nation. So I am bumping this thread and asking members.....

    If you won the lottery, what would you do?
  4. Gator 45/70

    Gator 45/70 Monkey+++

    Someone won?
  5. Seawolf1090

    Seawolf1090 Retired Curmudgeonly IT Monkey Founding Member

    My tastes are simple. I'd get about 25 acres of woodland on a lake or river, high enough to not flood, build a smallish cement block house on it with a half acre yard. A new minivan. Total rebuild on my '88 E150 campervan. Maybe a few guns I've had my eye on. Squirrel a million away in PMs. Lay in a cache of LTS food for a ten year supply. I ain't greedy.
  6. SB21

    SB21 Monkey+++

    I need some new tires on my truck before the winter hits,,,
    oldawg, Gator 45/70 and Motomom34 like this.
  7. runswithdogs

    runswithdogs Monkey+++


    1.6 billion.... and in UK you dont pay taxes on lottery winning...:D

    Find a good lawer to help manage & advise legal maters, moneys etc.
    Pay of debts & mortgage.

    Give both my sisters enough money to pay off their mortgages.
    Set up trust funds for my neices/nephews to pay for them going to collage or trade school etc when there old enough.
    Buy my fav aunt a small cottage and pay off her debt (she got swindled into a large debt that she will have to work till shes 100 to have any hope of paying off)
    Pay for my Mom, sisters, fav Aunt and their immediate familys to come over here for a proper holiday in Scotland (including staying at castles and seeing all the really cool bits)

    Everyone else that shows up to ask for money will get fed to the dogs... or ummm.... told to get stuffed... depends on my mood.

    Set aside a % of the money To donate to those groups/charitys that I would like to support.

    Find my “perfect property” and create a self sustaining homestead.

    Shop for a suitable Estate property (most of the large land holding is scotland are owned by rich people who use it for grouse shooting etc and most the time dont even live here) Buy it, and then create low cost comunitys, things like tiny houses that can be bought for just a bit more that the cost of actully building it (but sliding scale depending on indivigual needs/abilitys) so that the money can then be put towards creating more homes & small buisnesses. Integrated into large “wild” areas. Work on replanting large areas and creating areas where people can Take their kids camping and fishing for free or a small fee (that may not sound such a big deal but here, if you want to go fishing on any river/loch etc.. you have to pay huge sums for a day licence and you dont even get to keep the fish... rich mans sport:cautious: ) lots of Green” spaces and set up so people can have gardens, greenhouses etc. (Most town properties here have very small yards. )

    Since the idea would be to recoup the money spent on the cost of the estate and propertys, I could then look for another Estate and rinse/repeat :D

    Run off to backpack tour a bunch of Europe for a year or so that me & hubby have always wanted to visit, Spain, Italy, Greece, Norway, Iceland, Normandy, etc...

    Take another look at those Death Star schematics.....
    Ganado, Zimmy, oldawg and 3 others like this.
  8. Motomom34

    Motomom34 Monkey+++

    Nope. It is now at an estimated 1.6 billion. That is a billion... well after taxes, it would be lots of millions that you would get to take home. :)
    I re-read my what I would do if I won the lottery (post #1) and my answer really has not changed. A simple homestead and to help others. I would probably buy a new vehicle that could haul a trailer but otherwise I would not know what to do with all that money. I wouldn't want it to change who I am.
    tacmotusn, Zimmy and Gator 45/70 like this.
  9. Seawolf1090

    Seawolf1090 Retired Curmudgeonly IT Monkey Founding Member

    Hehe....... Sometimes I watch the TV show, "Lottery Dream Homes". Funny how many people will spend the majority of winners spend the majority of their winnings on a huge fancy home, never thinking about income tax taking a huge chunk of it, or property taxes, or upkeep and maintenance of that huge property. Wonder how many of them are broke and homeless a year later?
    Zimmy and Gator 45/70 like this.
  10. runswithdogs

    runswithdogs Monkey+++

    Probably a lot...

    I dont want a big home... to much housework needed!
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  11. Merkun

    Merkun furious dreamer

    Endow a university chair in basic hard science or engineering.
    Zimmy likes this.
  12. arleigh

    arleigh Goophy monkey

    If I won the lottery.
    I would hire people to work for me ,distribute all my junk and move from California.
    Find a place to live that needs/want's help and put people to work building a manufacturing business . Secure my patentable ideas and go to work .
    Start small and let the business grow naturally. If what is available for employment is unreliable ,move on .
    no point in wasting their time and mine if they don't take the opportunity seriously .
    Having worked for several companies large and small ,seen them rise and fall through out my lifetime , I'm pretty sure I know how it works , and I already know key people I'd want on my board running things .
    IF this one can float , then start a whole other business all over again in a new location. and so on .
    If I can't find a suitable place to accomplish this dream here , there are a world of other places to go people want work.
    If the morality, politics, and reliability are so poor as to undermine the business ,it is not that difficult to close shop and move on seeing my money was won, and not earned . no loss to me , but would be a loss to those that would kill the goose the lay the golden eggs.
    This is where other companies are manipulated negatively, having investors money to answer to and then making compromises to keep things afloat. That may well happen, but I would do my best to forestay that demolition.
    I don't believe in handing out money , I believe in people earning it ,be it a stranger or family . That I receive a wind fall ,it is yet mine to distribute as I govern ,not for liberals to determine .
    I don't need more toys , they may not be the newest fancy or shiny but they function , and what can be improved I'll do it .
    I don't need false friends ,or long lost relatives , it is amazing how much attention one gets if there is money involved.
    It is no wonder that rich friendly up with other rich , seeing they are not looking to sponge off one another, "usually".
    I have rich generous friends (out of my league) but I endeavored not to be a pest, and keep our relationship professional.
    Thinking about it , I might make exception and help out those in the past that had been there for me during low times , one should never forget those folk.
    Being retired I don't have the resources to do all these things and mind you they are a pipe dream but one i've had a very long time.
  13. SB21

    SB21 Monkey+++

    Arleigh,,,you sound a lot like me .. I imagine ,, if I won that amount of money ,, I'd have all kinds of old friends and family show up. I'd hand out a good bit to the ones that have helped me in the past,, and it would be a pleasure to tell the others to piss off .
    I've worked construction for 30+ years. I'd love to put together a few crews , and travel around and rehab the homes of elderly folks or veterans that can't aford to get it done , and help them enjoy their remaining years.
  14. First thing I'd do, Get a lawyer. Then I'd pay Dixon, Ill what Rita Grundwell stole from them and get her paroled to me. If she could steal that much from that small town I want her working for me. Then I think I'd start several small companies specifically to hire persons with disabilities, Vets, developmental, substance abuse. Make fishing tackle, optics maybe Ham radio. Find the next John M. Browning have him redesign the Luger to shoot .45 ACP. Set up a holding company to take care or my family. Grubstake vocational ed. Plumbing, electrical, carpenters, ad nauseum. Work with the penal system, If someone is in prison they are getting a legit education.
    Zimmy and Gator 45/70 like this.
  15. DKR

    DKR Raconteur of the first stripe


    I'd buy a small converted school bus and travel north America.

    When I spotted a good opportunity, I'd lend a hand -anonymously, of course -

    I mean, how much fun would it be

    -To buy a new van for a youth sports team and cover the taxes / insurance for a year?

    Stop by a construction company and arrange for a rebuild/expansion of a women's shelter.

    I'd like to buy Pioche NV - lock, stock and barrel. I've always fancied owning some historic real estate. Converting the Mountain View Hotel to a vacation spa would be a neat vacation spot. Finally, owing the 1001 Ranch just down the road would be pretty cool as well.
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2018
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  16. Gator 45/70

    Gator 45/70 Monkey+++

    Think I would buy still 1000 acres here, Invite monkeys to come stay,Farm,fish,hunt,have some drilled water wells,Maybe drill an oil/gas well for total off grid living.
    Motomom34 likes this.
  17. Gator 45/70

    Gator 45/70 Monkey+++

    And this...hahaha

  18. Zimmy

    Zimmy Wait, I'm not ready!

    Get some trust or corporation built to protect my funds.

    I'd buy out my neighbors and privatize my road. That'll give me about 2k acres of privacy and security. Have hugelculture and food forests planted throughout as appropriate.

    Probably build an off grid earthship or two with complimentary defense.

    Double the income for the family members up to ~$100k and provide free education upon completion of a variety of paid prepping related courses.

    Build some really good shooting ranges.

    Buy a 1965 Chevy Malibu SS. (My first car)

    Maybe build a trades school for vets. Send them into the civilian world with multi trade skills and certs. Maybe a pick two deal of security, industrial safety, electrician, IC&E, millwright, plumber, welder, crane operator/rigger, or pipefitting. I'd pay any balance after GI Bill in exchange for labor on the farm.
    3cyl, Motomom34 and Gator 45/70 like this.
  19. Witch Doctor 01

    Witch Doctor 01 Mojo Maker

    Pay off all my debts, set up a trust, establish a corporation to over see the trust, become an officer of the corporation, at a good salary, select others to become corporate officers. Determine when we had our corporate retreats if we visit @Hanzo or @Gator 45/70 or @tacmotusn For dinner.... Heck might even hire them for chefs so we have a variety of food with armed back up....;)

    Trust would provide funds for folks that have a need that the board deems appropriate. For all other folks begging for $$$, I would set up an appointment with in town square so every one else could watch them kiss my "donkey"...
  20. tacmotusn

    tacmotusn Mosquito Sailor Site Supporter+

    kiss your DONKEY??? Are you one of those? I might kiss your RED Baboon azz, but I only kick donkey azz.
    Motomom34 and Gator 45/70 like this.
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