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Important statistics!!

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Witch Doctor 01, Jan 10, 2011.

  1. Witch Doctor 01

    Witch Doctor 01 Mojo Maker

    I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing him to have to drive on to the <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com[​IMG]that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave
    in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic,
    and here's why:
    - I drive 48 miles each way every day to work.
    - That's 96 miles each day.
    - Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.
    - Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.
    - There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.
    - That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.
    - Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars.
    - That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day.
    - Statistically, females drive half of these.
    - That's 18,000 women drivers! - In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.
    - That's 642.
    - According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding.
    - That's 449.
    - According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide. That's 98.
    - And 34% describe men as their biggest problem. That's 33.
    - According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons, and this number is increasing.
    - That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.
    Flip one off? ........ I think not.
  2. Equilibrium

    Equilibrium Monkey++

    When you think about this.... it's pretty funny. In reality.... many are blatantly inconsiderate drivers cutting folk off to rush rush rush their kid to the next activity weaving in and out of traffic. They're also distracted. Especially when you see them putting on lipstick or mascara steering with one arm looking in the rear view mirror to make sure they get that make-up on right, arguing with kids in the back seat, and talking on cell phones but the one I saw that took the cake was a man receiving a fax in his car steering with his knee so he could jiggle something on the fax machine that was to the right of him in the front passenger seat. I kid you not... he had a computer monitor with a keyboard mounted to his dash like he was a police officer and a fax machine. I don't flip anyone off... I get out of their way.
  3. Gray Wolf

    Gray Wolf Monkey+++

    I've seen people driving on the turnpike reading books and newspapers,
    there is no telling how many are texting or watching movies.
  4. snowbyrd

    snowbyrd Latet anguis in herba

    I drove truck for uh, alot of years. Every time I though I had seen all there is to see the great un-washed proved me wrong. Many things I cannot relate here, too UH, kinky,weird. One was reading a book, eating a 'burger' talking on the phone and yelling at her kid in the back seat.
    Multi tasking is a mythe
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