In Honor of Stupid People....

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by BTPost, Mar 25, 2011.

  1. BTPost

    BTPost Stumpy Old Fart,Deadman Walking, Snow Monkey Moderator

    Saw this on another site, and thought my Monkey Friends would like it.........

    In Honor of Stupid People. In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

    On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
    (Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

    On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
    Details inside.
    (the shoplifter special)?

    On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
    (and that would be how???.........................)

    On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
    (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

    On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside
    (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

    On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
    (...and you thought????........................)

    On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
    (but wouldn't this save me more time)?

    On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate
    machinery after taking this medication."
    (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

    On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause
    (and...I'm taking this because???....)

    On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
    (as opposed to...what)?

    On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
    (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

    On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
    (talk about a news flash)

    On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet,
    eat nuts."
    (Step 3: maybe, Delta?)

    On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
    (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

    On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
    (Oh my Goodness) ...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

    ..... YMMV....
  2. cornmonkey

    cornmonkey Monkey+

    Lawyer land has made this stuff an every day thing. A lot of folk need the do not lick finger and stick in socket thang, lol. I like the list it,s a good one.
  3. Brokor

    Brokor Live Free or Cry Moderator Site Supporter+++ Founding Member

    I might post this to Facebook and give all of my family a laugh...of course I will have to change the title to, "Important Things You Should Know" --that should go over well.
  4. WestPointMAG

    WestPointMAG Monkey++

    On a Hi-point 995
    “Do not extend your fingers past the muzzle.”
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