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Insurance Terms explained...finally!

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by CRC, Feb 19, 2007.

  1. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Q. What does HMO stand for?

    A. This is actually a variation of the phrase,
    "HEY MOE." Its roots go back to a concept pioneered
    by Moe of the Three Stooges, who discovered that a
    patient could be made to forget the pain in his foot
    if he was poked hard enough in the eye.

    Q. I just joined an HMO. How difficult will it
    be to choose the doctor I want?

    A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing
    your parents. Your insurer will provide you with a
    book listing all the doctors in the plan. The
    doctors basically fall into two categories: those
    who are no longer accepting new patients, and those
    who will see you but are no longer participating in
    the plan. But don't worry, the remaining doctor who
    is still in the plan and accepting new patients has
    an office just a half-day's drive away and a diploma
    from a third world country.

    Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require

    A. No. Only those you need.

    Q. Can I get coverage for my preexisting

    A. Certainly, as long as they don't require any

    Q. What happens if I want to try alternative
    forms of medicine?

    A. You'll need to find alternative forms of

    Q. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs,
    but I need the name brand. I tried the generic
    medication, but it gave me a stomach ache. What
    should I do?

    A. Poke yourself in the eye.

    Q. What if I'm away from home and I get sick?

    A. You really shouldn't do that.

    Q. I think I need to see a specialist, but my
    doctor insists he can handle my problem. Can a
    general practitioner really perform a heart
    transplant right in his/her office?

    A. Hard to say, but considering that all you're
    risking is the $20 co-payment, there's no harm in
    giving it a shot.

    Q. Will health care be different in the next

    A. No, but if you call right now, you might get
    an appointment by then.

    Prayers For Your Good Health (because as you'll see,
    you'll need it!!)
  2. Blackjack

    Blackjack Monkey+++

    Yep, that's about accurate. [LMAO]
  3. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    [LMAO] True story![LMAO]
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