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Just good rules

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Conagher, Dec 12, 2008.

  1. Conagher

    Conagher Dark Custom Rider Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Just good rules...

    Rules of Colorado, Wyoming, Montana, Utah, Idaho, Oregon, and the rest of the Wild West are as follows:

    1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

    2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.

    3. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'gravel road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want to.
    No matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

    4. They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it?

    I-80 & I-90 go east and west, I-25 & I-15 goes north and south. Pick one and go.

    5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

    6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

    7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are
    comin' in during the hunts, we WILL shoot it outta your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

    8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

    9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season.

    It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

    10. We open doors for women. That's applied to all women, regardless of age.

    11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu.

    Order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.

    12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads.

    We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah. .
    We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat. . IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!

    13. You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice.

    You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

    14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Giants, the Yankees,

    the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

    15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.

    16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't music, anyway.

    We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!

    A true Westerner will send this to at least - 10 others and a few new friends that probably won't get it, but we're friendly

    so we share in hopes you can begin to understand what a real life is all about!!!
  2. Tango3

    Tango3 Aimless wanderer

    I like it...
  3. Quigley_Sharps

    Quigley_Sharps The Badministrator Administrator Founding Member

    Amen for the West man
  4. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

  5. ColtCarbine

    ColtCarbine Monkey+++ Founding Member

    Needs to be added to list:

    Quit trying to convert Oregon into an extension of California, if you like the place so damn much then go back to where you came from taser1
  6. NVBeav

    NVBeav Monkey+++

    Ditto for Nevada (and probably every Western state that Kalifornikovs go to be "at one with nature").

    Window sticker seen recently --> Nevada: I don't really care how you did it in California.
  7. Conagher

    Conagher Dark Custom Rider Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    That's funny about the Nevada sticker............[ROFL]..........:D
  8. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    We have one similar in the South.....[angel]

    (remember, I'm from South Carolina... Born and raised for the first 34 yrs of my life...)


    We have a list of "Rules" as well.... ;)
  9. dragonfly

    dragonfly Monkey+++

    Sounds like the one's I've seen in Arizona...
    "Welcome to Arizona"....."Now, go home!"
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