Just say no...? Or...?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by dragonfly, Jun 23, 2011.

  1. dragonfly

    dragonfly Monkey+++

    Let me try to explain...
    I offered to allow a couple, (that soon turned out to be 3 people), to come up to my place and let them stay rent and tax free, "IF" they would help me with the land....
    That meant fencing, security, and so on...Generally being "caretakers".

    However, in a short period of time ( 2 weeks), I am being told that now they number more like 7. There's the couple and 3 older children plus a small child.
    I was also told they will need to be housed for no less than 90 days, and that they will require food for at least 30 days.
    (Uhh... just when did I lose control?)
    Somehow, I think I missed something in the whole translation.
    The original offer was for a man and wife or "ole lady", (as he so delicately put it), and that was that. Then there was the minor thing of a custody battle with an ex, for a son, aged 16...
    Now, out of the blue, it's one more that is 21, one that is 18, one that is 16, and a toddler. Now he also says he wants a "buddy" to come along!
    I have nothing on the land but dirt, rocks, and some small juniper trees.
    Now, when I go up I have my 6 person travel trailer ( stored on someone elses land for now) that is jammed full with everything I may need, so there is only room for me,.... and I have to go outside just to change my mind. I also have a utility (box type) trailer made from an old chevy pickup bed. It is also filled, mostly with tools and so forth. There is no place for anyone else in either trailer.
    I am wondering how to answer this latest email making such requests....
    Frankly, it's beyond me!
    True, I am in need of people to assist me, but at no time and in no way could I even support a number of people and that was never discussed at any rate. I offered to help them get a trailer from a neighbor up there, but it is very small, like those Airstream trailers, that maybe 2 could make do in. Then I am asked if they can hunt, or buy a beef from a rancher, or whatever....
    Anyone care to guess about that? I mean, an out of state hunting license is very expensive, and up there you don't even want to try to poach! Too many people around that will turn you in, in a heartbeat! Besides we have "drawings" here for big game tags and the season starts around January thru February...A person would get pretty hungry by that time, IF you even managed to get "drawn"!

    I have repeatedly asked a number of questions which have never been answered ( at all) and suddenly I have somehow "adopted" a whole family?

    Where did I go wrong?
  2. Seawolf1090

    Seawolf1090 Retired Curmudgeonly IT Monkey Founding Member

    When you allowed total strangers on your property. Best see if you can run them OFF now. It may take legal action by the local Sheriff - IF he'll co-operate. In many places, eviction can take weeks. :rolleyes:
  3. hammer502

    hammer502 Monkey+

    tell them no to additional folks.then look for help from friends or family.at last resort hire local people on a daily basis.
  4. dragonfly

    dragonfly Monkey+++

    The good thing is they have NOT arrived yet!
    They were coming from back east...a LONG trip.
    But it may be a short one for them, as I have no intention of meeting with them or showing them the land now!
    They were supposed to be here in mid-July or early August.
    (Dodged the bullet so far!)
  5. jasonl6

    jasonl6 Monkey+++

    Not to paint a broad picture but when i read your post i saw this...

    If a man does not respect his wife he is likely to not respect you or your property.

    Another red flag. When i see custody battle i instantly think about a divorce and that the man probably didn't work very hard to keep his marriage together or possibly had a kid out of wedlock. Either way not someone that i want around.

    Now I'm all for giving someone a chance and it looks like you did that, They blew that chance. With unemployment at 9% plus there are allot of people that would love an opportunity to live free for awhile in exchange for work. Keep looking around. Hold on to everything they say in and interview to weed out any misfits.


  6. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    There's no "or" in that equation. Just say no. (Have all those burnt fingers from past experience healed yet?)
  7. beast

    beast backwoodsman

    email them back,tell them you sold the land
    and all deals are off
  8. Ajax

    Ajax Monkey++

    Yep, cancel it ASAP. It's good that they are not on your land, I could very easily imagine this group digging in and not leaving, even trying to claim the land and house is theirs now.

    If you do this again in the future make sure you have written leases, contracts as needed etc.
  9. jim2

    jim2 Monkey+++

    You are VERY blessed that they have not arrived yet. I'm betting the'd be almost impossible to remove, and would sour all your neighbors on you.

    Hang tough!
  10. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member


    Just say NO!
    VisuTrac and Brokor like this.
  11. Gray Wolf

    Gray Wolf Monkey+++

    Say NO. Say it loud, say it often, and most importantly, MAKE IT STICK!
  12. chelloveck

    chelloveck Diabolus Causidicus

    SAY NO! NO! NO! NO! 'til they get the message

    I can foresee trouble ahead, if you allow Cletus and his extended family, and hangers on (good ol' buddies) to stay on your land without defining clearly...by a lease or contract what your rights and responsibilities are and their rights and responsibilities are. If they are demanding from the outset that they be fed and accomodated, without their making any inputs on their own behalf in good faith...I guess you can expect that the demands will become more and more for less and less in return.

    Make it easier on yourself, and more difficult for them to impose upon your good and generous inclinations....send an e-mail together with a letter by certified post to advise them that circumstances have changed and you will no longer be requiring caretaking / maintenance services.

    Appended below is a link to a story that may have similar applicability to your circumstances.

    I have copied a relevant passage of the document which may underscore potential problems.

    my emphasis

    Court battle as tenants claim ownership of Colac house | Geelong, VIC, Australia

    The camel and his master may be another cautionary tale to consider.

    The Camel and His Master

    Head off the problem before it does become a bigger problem. It is easier to stop them at the gate than to evict them after they have become established, and try and use the law to "protect THEIR rights". AS in the Colac case, legally they may not have a leg to stand on, but they can be such a pain in the arse, that by delaying and causing such a legal mess (with significant costs to you in defending the case),that they may in effect be blackmailing the owner to give them a whole swag of money, just to make it...and them..."go away".

    As was said before...stick to your guns...and stay strong.
    STANGF150 and beast like this.
  13. dragonfly

    dragonfly Monkey+++

    Done and done!
    I explained I had NO intentions of supporting anyone, much less their extended family, or someone elses....
    They somehow got the wrong message that I was going to feed and house them for a period of time.
    They also somehow misinterpreted that my 2 trailers were for them to use and live in!
    Back to the drawing board!
    It's so much simpler when you can talk with someone that makes sense and does not read between the lines!
    The last email I got was that this person was going to re-locate his entire family and friends here to where I live in Phoenix, then allow me to support them from my home!
    ( Now that's just bizarre!)
    Then, when it was time to go up north, I'd provide everything they'd need including a vehicle!
    Talk about strange people!
  14. chelloveck

    chelloveck Diabolus Causidicus

    Good for you!

    Good for you....I'm sure that you'll finding a way of meeting your needs without compromising what you have and hold.
  15. dragonfly

    dragonfly Monkey+++

    Ain't it the truth though! Thanks for the info! I knew I was in trouble when the demands started and the asking stopped!
    Now, I think ( he says tongue in cheek) it's over!
    I hope so anyay!
  16. beast

    beast backwoodsman

    ill come live there for ya dragonfly :p
    dragonfly likes this.
  17. BTPost

    BTPost Stumpy Old Fart,Deadman Walking, Snow Monkey Moderator

    I have no CLUE, as to what those folks have been "smok'en" but you are well rid of them, and a lot wiser NOW.... Good for you, and yours, DragonFly... You do NOT need that millstone around your neck..... .... Lesson Learned....
  18. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    Seems like from past threads, that you keep having similar problems with folks, did you ever think that maybe your heart is bigger than your purse and you mouth hasn't caught on yet?
    STANGF150 and dragonfly like this.
  19. Brokor

    Brokor Live Free or Cry Moderator Site Supporter+++ Founding Member

    Tee-hee, oh man. [shtf]
  20. dragonfly

    dragonfly Monkey+++

    Sea... you've hit the nail on the head my friend!
    I always was stubborn and bull headed in that way.
    It has cost me too!
    Maybe I'll just sit back on my laurels awhile and see what comes along!
    There has to be someone out there better than I've had no luck with!
    I feel like that old saying:
    If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all!
    Thanks all!
survivalmonkey SSL seal        survivalmonkey.com warrant canary