Kick me in the behind

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Legion489, Mar 28, 2017.


  1. Legion489

    Legion489 Rev. 2:19 Banned

    >
    > Katie Couric,
    > Charlie Gibson, Brian Williams and a tough old U.S. Marine
    > Sergeant were captured by terrorists in Iraq . The leader of
    > the terrorists told them he'd grant each of them one
    > last request before they were beheaded and dragged naked
    > through the streets.
    >
    >

    >
    > Katie
    > Couric said, 'Well, I'm a Southerner, so I'd
    > like one last plate of fried chicken.'
    >
    >
    >
    > The leader nodded to an
    > underling who left and returned with the chicken.
    > Couric ate it all and said, 'Now I can die
    > content.'
    >
    >
    >
    > Charlie
    > Gibson said, 'I'm living in ' New York , so
    > I'd like to hear the
    > song, The Moon and Me, one last time.'
    >
    >
    >
    > The
    > terrorist leader nodded to another terrorist who had
    > studied the Western world and knew the music. He returned
    > with some rag-tag musicians and played the
    > song.
    >
    >
    >
    > Gibson
    > was satisfied.
    >
    >
    >
    > Brian
    > Williams said, 'I'm a reporter to the end. I want
    > to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and
    > what's about to happen.
    > Maybe, someday, someone will hear it and know that I
    > was on
    > the job till the end.'
    >
    >
    >
    > The
    > leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder
    > and Williams
    > dictated his comments.
    >
    >
    >
    > Williams then
    > said, 'Now I can die happy.'
    >
    >
    >
    > The
    > leader turned and asked, 'And now, Mr.. U..S. Marine,
    > what is
    > your final wish?
    >
    >
    >
    > 'Kick
    > me in the ass,' said the Marine.
    >
    >
    >
    > 'What?'
    > asked the leader, 'Will you mock us in your last
    > hour?'
    >
    >
    >
    > 'No,
    > I'm NOT kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass,'
    > insisted the Marine.
    >
    >
    >
    > So
    > the leader shoved him into the yard and kicked him
    > in the
    > ass.
    >
    >
    >
    > The
    > Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9
    > mm pistol from inside his cammies and shot the leader
    > dead.
    >
    >
    >
    > In
    > the resulting confusion, he emptied his sidearm on six
    > terrorists, then with his knife he slashed the throat of
    > one, and with an AK-47, which he took, sprayed the rest of
    > the terrorists killing another 11.
    >
    >
    >
    > In
    > a flash, all of them were either dead or fleeing for their
    > lives.
    >
    >
    >
    > As
    > the Marine was untying Couric, Gibson, and Williams, they
    > asked him, 'Why didn't you just shoot them all in
    > the first place? Why did you ask him to kick you in the
    > ass?'
    >
    >
    >
    > 'What?' replied the
    > Marine, 'and have you three assholes report that I was
    > the aggressor.....?'
    >
    >
    >
    > Semper
    > Fi!
     
    arleigh, Aeason, 3cyl and 17 others like this.
  2. UncleMorgan

    UncleMorgan I like peeling bananas and (occasionally) people.

    Now, THAT, laddie, is a grand joke!
     
    Aeason, Ura-Ki and Dunerunner like this.
  3. tacmotusn

    tacmotusn RIP 1/13/21

    I know a few old knuckle dragging cammie wearers who were caught multiple times stealing what they thought were large white breath mints from the urinals of the base club before then went trolling for females of loose morals. I will pass that joke on to them. If necessary, I will try to explain it to them. 2 of my step brothers were Marines. One of them married a Marine.
     
  4. duane

    duane Monkey+++

    Good one. Thank you.
     
  5. bebop

    bebop My Maggie

    ooh rah
     
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