Ladies vs Real Women.....(for the ladies)

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by CRC, Oct 15, 2005.


  1. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Ladies: If a lady accidentally over-salts a dish while it's still
    cooking, she drops in a peeled potato and it absorbs the excess salt for an
    instant "fix-me-up".

    Real Woman: If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too damn bad.

    (Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: "I made it
    and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes.")

    **********

    Ladies: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on
    your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

    Real Woman: Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You
    might still have the headache, but who cares?

    **********

    Ladies: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent
    ice cream drips.

    Real Woman: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone,for Pete's
    sake. You are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway.

    **********

    Ladies: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the
    potatoes.

    Real Woman: Buy boxed mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a
    year.

    **********

    Ladies: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a
    bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the
    outside of the cake.

    Real Woman: Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate it for you.

    **********

    Ladies: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a
    beautiful glossy finish.

    Real Woman: Sara Lee frozen pie directions do not include brushing
    egg whites over the crust, so I just don't do it.

    **********

    Ladies: If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex
    dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

    Real Woman: Go ask the very cute neighbor guy to do it.

    **********

    And finally the most important tip....

    Ladies: Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for
    future use in casseroles and sauces.

    Real Woman: Leftover wine??
     
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