JohnO'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest ofme Life, between the legs of me wife!" That won him the topprize at the pub for the best toast of the night. He went home and told his wife, "Mary, I won the prize for the besttoast of the night." She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said, "Here's tospending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife." "Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said. The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the streetcorner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize theother night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary." She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know,he's only been in there twice in the last four years. Once I had topull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time hefell asleep."