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Limp duck

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by ColtCarbine, Jul 6, 2012.

  1. ColtCarbine

    ColtCarbine Monkey+++ Founding Member

    A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary
    surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet
    pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's

    After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and
    sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has
    passed away."

    The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
    "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the

    "How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean
    you haven't done any testing on him or anything.
    He might just be in a coma or something."

    The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the
    room. He returned a few minutes later with a black
    Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on
    in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his
    front paws on the examination table and sniffed the
    duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the
    vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

    The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out
    of the room. A few minutes later he returned with
    a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately
    sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back
    on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and
    strolled out of the room.

    The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry,
    but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably,
    a dead duck."

    The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys
    and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..
    The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!"
    she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

    The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my
    word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the
    Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."
    RightHand, TailorMadeHell and oldawg like this.
  2. Yard Dart

    Yard Dart Vigilant Monkey..... Moderator Site Supporter++

    That is funny stuff, I don't care who you are- Lab report & cat scan- haha.
  3. Nadja

    Nadja RIP 3-11-2013 Forum Leader

    Sounds like our new obumblecare doesn't it ? LOL
  4. Witch Doctor 01

    Witch Doctor 01 Mojo Maker

    suprised he didn't stick a viagra in it.... it would have stiffened that duck up....
    Mountainman likes this.
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