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Male/Female Definitions

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by CRC, May 16, 2006.


  1. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

    40-ish................................49.
    Adventurous......................Slept with everyone.
    Athletic...............................No breasts.
    Average looking....................Moooo.
    Beautiful.............................Pathological liar.
    Emotionally Secure................On medication.
    Feminist................................Fat.
    Free spirit............................Junkie.
    Friendship first......................Former slut.
    New-Age............................Body hair in the wrong places.
    Old-fashioned.......................No oral.
    Open-minded.......................Desperate.
    Outgoing............................Loud and Embarrassing.
    Professional..........................b****.
    Voluptuous..........................Very Fat.
    Large frame.........................Hugely Fat.
    Wants Soul mate..................Stalker.

    WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
    1. Yes = No
    2. No = Yes
    3. Maybe = No
    4. We need = I want
    5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
    6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
    7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
    8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later.
    9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
    10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think
    about?

    MEN'S ENGLISH:
    1. I am hungry = I am hungry
    2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
    3. I am tired = I am tired
    4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
    5. I love you = Let's have sex now
    6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
    7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
    8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
    9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
    10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
    11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
     
  2. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    :lol: [applaud]
     
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