Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Witch Doctor 01, Nov 22, 2012.

  1. Witch Doctor 01

    Witch Doctor 01 Mojo Maker

  2. scrapman21009

    scrapman21009 Chupacabra Hunter

    talk about henpecked, yikes!
  3. -06

    -06 Monkey+++

    Careful now---"moma" sees this and you go to bed hungry or get "the eye"----lol.
  4. ditch witch

    ditch witch I do stupid crap, so you don't have to

    LOL I really thought it'd be both of them all pretty at first, and then both looking like they'd been run through a chipper shredder afterwards. Biggest gripe my guy friends seem to have is that apparently marriage invokes a sort of residential Bermuda triangle whereby all manner of personal grooming of the feminine nature seem to vanish into thin air. Razors, perfume, sexy lingerie, sometimes even hairbrushes, gone without explaination, rendering their owner unable to even consider attempting to recreate her appearance pre-wedding day.

    They also bitterly complain about various skills going missing with the razors and mascara but seeing as how we're in polite company I won't elaborate.
    chelloveck and Cruisin Sloth like this.
  5. -06

    -06 Monkey+++

    Have heard that the best way to induce paralysis from the neck down is to say "I DO".
  6. larryinalabama

    larryinalabama Monkey++

    Whats the 3 "RINGS" of marrage.

    1. Engagement ring

    2. Wedding ring

  7. kellory

    kellory An unemployed Jester, is nobody's fool. Banned

    Yes....when you take those vows, and say the words "Till death do you part"....who knew you were setting a goal?;)
    larryinalabama and ditch witch like this.
  8. BTPost

    BTPost Stumpy Old Fart Snow Monkey Moderator

    Except if you are a Mormon.... Then it is for Eternity.... Better make sure the first time...
  9. -06

    -06 Monkey+++

    Joking aside for a moment, wife just returned from the Med and I missed her. We have been married for @38 yrs. Been a rough pill to swallow a few times but have hung in there. Getting too old to be changing so guess I will have to put up with her and she endure me for awhile longer. She is not so bad---------as long as she is sleeping---and not snoring----LOL.
  10. kellory

    kellory An unemployed Jester, is nobody's fool. Banned

    Men and women think completely differently.
    A man will set up a room the way he wants it and it will remain that way for years. You could return things to their posts by the marks on the floor, and the oxidation in the paint. A woman will get up in the middle of the night and move furniture. I know. I have run into a couch that was NOT there when I went to bed.
    A man will sort his tools by what they do. These are carpentry tools, painting tools, masonry tools, plumbing tools, ect. A woman will sort them by color. "It was blue..." (I'm STILL looking for tools my wife put away)
    A man will hang and even spraypaint the outlines of tools in their assigned posts. A woman will move tools to where ever she last used them for the next time they are needed. I know. screwdrivers to change fan bulbs seem to grow on top of the cabinet.
    A man will buy food by what he has tested and likes. A woman will buy food by what has not been tried, and you MIGHT like it.
    I know. And a man will NEVER attempt to freeze pickleloaf, in-case you might change your mind.
    A man will find the perfect woman, and hope she stays that way forever, a woman will find a man with potential, and spend the rest of your life trying to change you.
    Men, when having a bad day will separate, and enjoy working on some project alone. Women when having a bad day will synchronize their bad days, and spend them together, griping about their menfolk, not helping each other.
    A man learns to do for himself, so he can do for himself. A woman BELIEVES, that a man learns to do for himself, so he can do for everyone else in the area. I know. (and somehow, I'm being selfish if I think the neighbor should pay something for my time, not just the materials?)

    Men and women think completely differently!
    srchdawg, marlas1too and oth47 like this.
  11. BTPost

    BTPost Stumpy Old Fart Snow Monkey Moderator

    Mars/Venus Syndrome....
  12. kellory

    kellory An unemployed Jester, is nobody's fool. Banned

    Yeah, she's out there, I'll grant you....
    gunbunny and VisuTrac like this.
  13. VisuTrac

    VisuTrac Ваша мать носит военные ботинки Site Supporter+++

    Services for Kellory will be held once we can identify with at least a 25 percent certainty that it is him through the DNA evidence the forensic team was able to glean from his razor, tooth brush and comb, that the bits of the body are actually his.

    Not enough for burial so he'll be used as a fertilizer come spring.

    In lieu of flowers, Please send donations in memory of Kellory to 'The Fund for those who's wives read their dead husband posts'

    Tracy, BTPost and oldawg like this.
  14. kellory

    kellory An unemployed Jester, is nobody's fool. Banned

    I'm the Survivor, she doesn't know you exist!:D
    Tracy likes this.
  15. whynot

    whynot Monkey+++

    Estrogen is a powerful neurotoxin. I've been married to her for almost 20 years and still can't translate female to English.

  16. -06

    -06 Monkey+++

    LOL, you "nailed it" Kellory. I keep tools where they are needed most and have to hunt them if she uses them. Gave her a Colt 25 several years ago and she put it where she would not lose it---disappeared--have not seen it since. I have her to count to four before leaving anywhere. Cell phone, keys, pocketbook, and list---doesn't work---never has---never will.
  17. ditch witch

    ditch witch I do stupid crap, so you don't have to

    My husband particularly enjoys when I text him at work asking where I've left my keys, sunglasses, or cell phone.

    When he complains I point out that if he didn't always know, I wouldn't bother him by asking! ;)
  18. VisuTrac

    VisuTrac Ваша мать носит военные ботинки Site Supporter+++

    My canned statement is 'Right where you left it' because I'm smart enough not to move anything of hers! But depending on mood those might be fighting words.
    oldawg likes this.
  19. -06

    -06 Monkey+++

    LOL, good one DW. My wife called one day asking me to go back home for the spare car keys---I was 45 miles away. Told her to look in the bottom of her pocket book where I had placed a spare in preparation. She had locked the car while it was still running. That gal had her hair frosted about twenty years ago and the blond streaks infected her brain--permanently--lol.
    kellory likes this.
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