Married 45 Years!

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by ColtCarbine, May 3, 2011.

  1. ColtCarbine

    ColtCarbine Monkey+++ Founding Member

    <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"> <tbody> <tr> <td style="padding: 0in;" valign="top"> A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.

    The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I'm glad to see you've regained consciousness. You probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be ok, you'll walk again but your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it".

    The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got $9,000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1,000 an inch".

    The man perks up.

    "So", the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. I understand that you've been married for forty-five years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five-incher before and get a nine-incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine-incher before and you decide to only invest in a five-incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision".

    The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.

    The doctor comes back the next day and asks,"So, have you spoken with your wife"?

    "Yes I have", says the man.
    "And has she helped you make a decision"?

    "Yes" says the man.
    "What is your decision"? asks the doctor.

    "We're getting granite countertops".
  2. -06

    -06 Monkey+++

    Been married almost that long--LOL--I can understand her decision.
  3. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

  4. BTPost

    BTPost Stumpy Old Fart Snow Monkey Moderator

    Going on 39 years, here, and "I resemble those remarks"......[ROFL]
  5. VisuTrac

    VisuTrac Ваша мать носит военные ботинки Site Supporter+++

    What are you ol' timers giggling about? That's fricking tragic! There is only so much you can do with granite counter tops. She wants them so bad, There is the boulder, here is the diamond saw. Get to sawin missy!

    I'm gettin me a big 10 inch. I'll spring for the extra 1k

    LMAO it was funny. I'm only on 14 years. Still on a honeymoon*

    oh, i meant honey do. Nevermind.
  6. Yoldering

    Yoldering Monkey+++

    Hahaha!!!! Now that was funny.
  7. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    You know the honeymoon is over when you get nighttime "honey don'ts" to go with the daytime "honey do's."

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