Mortgage Banking Dictionary....or Welcome to My World...

Yep...it's all true...


Borrower: Otherwise intelligent consumer who believes
lender should kiss him on both cheeks and give him the
money - without all this credit report nonsense.

Closer: This person's only job is to salvage forty or
fifty emergencies at the last moment of every end of
month. This person is rarely sane.

Closing Date : Put into purchase contracts to give
the closer fits of hysterical laughter.

Credit Report: Basis for advanced creative writing by
Processor and buyer since white-out doesn't work any
more.

Escrow Officer : A humor less individual who is only
truly happy when they can blame the late closing on
the lender.

Fannie Mae: Government agency run by ex-stripper.

Freddie Mac: Type of hamburger consumed in cars by
Loan officers.

Ginny Mae: Type of alcoholic beverage consumed in
large quantities by mortgage employees.

Good Faith Estimate: Standard document which a loan
officer presents to the buyer to confuse them further.

Loan Application: Document which mysteriously causes
amnesia to the borrower concerning income, credit,
bills, and ex-spouses.

Loan Officer : Highly qualified financial analyst who
typically developed these skills while selling used
cars or encyclopedias.

Processor: Overworked, underpaid person who collects
the garbage received from the loan officer and
transforms it into a real loan. These individuals are
known to consume massive amounts of candy, popcorn,
and cookies.

Rate: This figure is always higher than the buyer's
uncle thinks it should be.

Realtor : Highly trained professional who
nevertheless has trouble figuring out how to subtract
the down payment from the sales price to get the loan
amount, but has no trouble figuring e! exact commission
without a calculator.

Underwriter: Conscientious employee otherwise known
as "God". Their most difficult task is responding to
loan agent's explanations of poor credit and income
history while maintaining a straight face.

We need further information : We lost your file.

Your loan is in committee: The underwriter/Processors
are having a three margarita lunch and we can't find them..