Mortgage Banking Dictionary....or Welcome to My World...

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by CRC, Jan 31, 2006.

  1. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member's all true...

    Borrower: Otherwise intelligent consumer who believes
    lender should kiss him on both cheeks and give him the
    money - without all this credit report nonsense.

    Closer: This person's only job is to salvage forty or
    fifty emergencies at the last moment of every end of
    month. This person is rarely sane.

    Closing Date : Put into purchase contracts to give
    the closer fits of hysterical laughter.

    Credit Report: Basis for advanced creative writing by
    Processor and buyer since white-out doesn't work any

    Escrow Officer : A humor less individual who is only
    truly happy when they can blame the late closing on
    the lender.

    Fannie Mae: Government agency run by ex-stripper.

    Freddie Mac: Type of hamburger consumed in cars by
    Loan officers.

    Ginny Mae: Type of alcoholic beverage consumed in
    large quantities by mortgage employees.

    Good Faith Estimate: Standard document which a loan
    officer presents to the buyer to confuse them further.

    Loan Application: Document which mysteriously causes
    amnesia to the borrower concerning income, credit,
    bills, and ex-spouses.

    Loan Officer : Highly qualified financial analyst who
    typically developed these skills while selling used
    cars or encyclopedias.

    Processor: Overworked, underpaid person who collects
    the garbage received from the loan officer and
    transforms it into a real loan. These individuals are
    known to consume massive amounts of candy, popcorn,
    and cookies.

    Rate: This figure is always higher than the buyer's
    uncle thinks it should be.

    Realtor : Highly trained professional who
    nevertheless has trouble figuring out how to subtract
    the down payment from the sales price to get the loan
    amount, but has no trouble figuring e! exact commission
    without a calculator.

    Underwriter: Conscientious employee otherwise known
    as "God". Their most difficult task is responding to
    loan agent's explanations of poor credit and income
    history while maintaining a straight face.

    We need further information : We lost your file.

    Your loan is in committee: The underwriter/Processors
    are having a three margarita lunch and we can't find them..
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