I've just been told from a confidential highly placed informant in the U.F.O. community that Ted Kennedy killed both Michael Jackson and Billy Mays. He was then killed to keep him from spilling the beans much like Lee Harvey Oswald was killed by Jack Ruby to cover up the Kennedy assassination. What did Michael Jackson and Billy Mays know that was so damning? Just had to blow off a little steam, but the way things are going the truth is really probably a lot more bizarre than this.