Motivational Poster Thread (warning content)

Secret Santa was fun this year. I had stashed the actual gift box in the shop days in advance, and as planned, one of the employees in that department found it and put it under the tree. This way nobody had actually seen me with the real Secret Santa box. I walked in with a smaller wrapped package and put that empty
box (weighted with an old phone book) under the tree with a card addressed to "Joe." (There's no Joe that works here) I let the girls run around asking everyone about the "Joe" box for way too long. One of them finally caught me cracking a smile behind my beard .

The Secret Santa of the actual package is still a mystery to everyone, as it should be. They seem to suspect it was a girl, because of the hand writing. It wasn't so much the contents of the package that threw them off, but the card. I had one of the girls from a different department fill out the card to "Naughty -----" and then write "Don't do anything I wouldn't do! - Santa" on the envelope. Inside the envelope I put a card and two condoms. Best laughs I've had in a long time.

 

Doc said my rotator cuff was completely gone, and my bicep tendon is torn right off the bone... and that's my good shoulder.

 

Mom said we'd shoot at each other if we had BB guns, so we shot at each other with pellet guns and .22's. When I was about 40 I bought myself a Daisy Red Ryder.