My Liberal Diary

Discussion in 'Freedom and Liberty' started by Seacowboys, Jan 24, 2017.


  1. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    1. Day 1 of my Liberal Diary:
    Azaleas are blooming and it is going to drop below freezing, that damned Trump did it again! He fooled the plants into thinking it is Spring, must be that Global warming thing again. Still waiting on my free stuff, someone suggested that I buy my own pussy hat rather than accepting one of the limited supply of free ones because I am still Caucasian; need to work on that, maybe I'll check the university night school to see about Ebonics classes soon as I can quit my capitalist enslavement. Can anyone get me a copy of the list of entitlements that are available? I really need to get this ball rolling!
     
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2017
  2. Dunerunner

    Dunerunner Brewery Monkey Moderator

    [LMAO] You should have started this process 8 years ago. You slackers always get the short end of the stick! [violin]
     
    Hanzo, Tully Mars, Yard Dart and 7 others like this.
  3. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    Day 2, My Liberal Diary
    I pissed off a bunch of monkeys by taking up for a Foreigner about making fun of Trump, and he wasn't even an illegal immigrant. Damn right-wingers are dangerous; they sling ones and zeros with lethal force.
    I applied for several entitlements but was told that I make too much money to qualify, in spite of the actual take-home pay being considerably less that what some of the entitlements add up to: I think this is some kind of racist conspiracy. While I was down-town, I decided to help out the brothers in their struggle by giving them some of my guns, but when I pulled out a pair of Glocks that I wanted to give them, calling out in my best Ebonics, "Yo muther-fukers, here's some guns"", they scattered like a flock of geese and a couple of them shot at me, I guess they already had some guns.
    A friend is knitting me a pussy hat from his home-grown pink Australian sheeps and sending it to RH, maybe I'll get to meet Michael Moore or Madonna?
     
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2017
  4. VisuTrac

    VisuTrac Ваша мать носит военные ботинки Site Supporter+++

    I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings!
     
    Aeason and Yard Dart like this.
  5. Gator 45/70

    Gator 45/70 Monkey+++

    Another March for Rights?
     
  6. Ganado

    Ganado Monkey+++

    [pop]I am so enjoying this Lil drama! [slow]
    Is this in the 'new hook section' or on amazon yet? ;)
     
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2017
    Tully Mars, bebop and Aeason like this.
  7. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    Day 3, My Liberal Diary
    Damned Right Wangers! I knew they controlled the internet but this going too far; they have blocked my access to the Liberal Forum and just when the conversation was really beginning to stimulate a lot of productive debate. I had introduced myself as a newly christened Liberal, formerly leaning a bit towards the right but now, having seen the errors of my ways, wanted to contribute something significant to the March towards social justice and equality. I mentioned , how absurd it was to have to work all day, every day, just to have my pay taken away for distribution amongst the regular people, so now I want to quit work and start sharing the wealth of those rich industrialists and people like me, that were stupid enough to work for a living. I wanted to be prepared, so I studied the history of the Democratic party, and had proposed that we breath some life back into some of our more glorious Legacy projects, like the Ku Klux Klan, only this time, since that damned Republican, Lincoln, destroyed our most reliable source of cheap labor, we now have Mexicans to do all that we can't afford to hire Union labor for, so we could go after folks like Allen West and Condelessa Rice, Ben Carson, the ones that really conflict our agenda, wear pussy hats instead of sheets and maybe burn a few flags in their yard instead of Crosses, just to get the point across. Then suddenly this ACCESS DENIED! jumps onto my screen, and try as I might, I can't seem to locate the thread, even as a guest reader.
    I had more luck at the LGBT Forum, what an amazingly friendly bunch of folks! I have never received such a warm welcome, all the invitations to meet and have drinks or coffee, just warmed my heart and made me proud to be a Liberal. I am a little confused about why so many of you sent me pictures of your penises? I thought you guys were all happily married now?
    I have decided that it is not a conflict of interest to be Pro Choice and still against abortion. Women should have complete control over their bodies without the meddling of government. If they choose abortion, then let the government charge them with capital murder, problem solved.
    Today, I shall search for scheduled riots and looting, I need a new pair of shoes. I wonder why we never seem to loot places like Bass Pro Shoppe?
     
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2017
  8. BTPost

    BTPost Stumpy Old Fart Snow Monkey Moderator

    Must be Bad Weather, out in the Gulf.... It seems our Pirate, has way to much time on his hands....
     
  9. Ganado

    Ganado Monkey+++

    O.O a liberal pirate? literally drinking libations?
     
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2017
    Aeason and Dunerunner like this.
  10. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    Day Four, My Liberal Diary
    I am a little confused about why we are so upset with Trump wanting to grab a woman by her hat, he didn't actually do it, did he? I seem to remember that President Clinton poked his fat secretary with a big cigar right in the Oval Orifice and we still re-elected him. Trump is just too bour·geois to grasp the finer acceptable aspects of sexual assault by a public official. We can all thank Mr. Clinton from removing blow-jobs and porking with a cigar from the definitions of having sex with a woman. Saying that you want to grab a woman by her hat is a no-no; but to paraphrase the infamous George Burns, "Sometimes a cigar is more than just a smoke!"
    I watched CNN last night, for the first time in years. They really blasted that right-wang president, saying that he has declared war on the news media and they were prepared for the fight, stating that our brain-dead audience were starving for the spin, innuendo, and mis-information needed to keep us all stirred up so we can rally the advertising dollars generated by riots, protests, and dissention, not to mention, slowing the process of changing this great socialist state into something resembling a Republic, for Christ's sake. Do they think we spent the past three generations teaching our kids that this was a democracy, for nothing? In a democracy, if we can get one more vote than the opposition, we can take ALL their stuff! And since we lowered the standards in education, we no-longer have to worry too much about our audience reading the fine print, why read, even if you can, when we can show you our version of the truth from a thousand different camera angles? Trump insulted the President of Mexico! Do you have any idea what potential damage that can do to the prices on Fender guitars, lawn-care, or re-fried beans?
    Cigar1.
     
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2017
  11. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    Day Five, My Liberal Diary
    I invited some of my liberal friends over last night for burgers and to play music. I didn't know how to cook tofu or soy-burgers but I made sure to tell them the beef and sausages were 100% from an approved grocery store and that I was not responsible for a single death of any animal and I put out some tortilla chips and guacamole for the vegetarians though the only vegetarian there ate three burgers. It was a little cool outside for grilling, but I assured them the global warming would kick in any time and they had to be outside anyway, to smoke their medical marijuana because I suspect that my wife has not yet realized that we are now liberals. I first suspected she hadn't jumped on the band=wagon when I discovered the pussy hat I had given her, being used as a pull-toy by our three definately democrat dogs. That, and she has taken to keeping her gun next to her bed, atop her night-stand. Many of our closest Liberal friends have alienated us because of her out-spoken support for the right-wangers, this is only to be expected. How can anyone possibly stay friends with someone that supports people actually having to work for a living, pay for ALL their own stuff, carry's a gun to protect herself from socially disadvantaged urban dwellers, and probably wishes the LGBT community would at least put up a privacy fence?
    I am running a little short this week, having donated much of my available funds to the Natures Conservancy, one of the only Conservative things we liberals support, so I went to a local Gun Buy-back with a $3000.00 JT competition AR15, complete with a McCormic match-grade trigger pack, and multiple optics thinking the extra money would be handy but they would only give me a $100 gift certificate for it so I decided to keep it a while longer in-case it ever ceases to be an evil assault rifle and return to it's status as a top-of-line competitive match rifle. I do not believe that I actually have ever owned a $100 gun and when I recommended that if they really were serious about getting them off the streets, they should register at Gunbroker,com and bid on them like everybody else. They would get a more realistic idea of the value of these dangerous assault weapons and everybody would benefit. The owner would get a fair price from his valuable evil black rifle, the Gun controllers would take one more off the street, and my wife could buy that new M14 from Fulton Armory that is worth about the same as the JT Semi-automatic Assault Sporting Rifle, it's a win-win!
     
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2017
  12. Dunerunner

    Dunerunner Brewery Monkey Moderator

    This thread offers as much entertainment as watching the lame stream media meltdown... I actually laughed out loud over that last post @Seacowboys... [LMAO] [winkthumb]
     
  13. Gator 45/70

    Gator 45/70 Monkey+++

    How does Moose lean?
     
  14. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

  15. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    SEA!! You found him!! Where is that par-tay?
     
  16. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    Day 6, My Liberal Diary
    I am shocked and dismayed that so many of our front-line protestors are being arrested and charged with felonies for breaking a few windows, over-turning a few cars, or burning a building or two, maybe a little looting but certainly not enough to have them looking at up to ten years in a Right-wang prison; black people have been doing this with impunity for over fifty years but now that we liberals have decided to consolidate and participate, they are going to throw us in jail! I think this white privilege is a two-edged sword, rioting and looting during the commission of a civil protest should include a free pass for everybody, including those that happen to be white; we have already endured the tear-gas, pepper spray, rubber bullets, and fire-hoses. Enough is enough!
    I am practicing a new set-list, in case I get an offer to perform at Rosie McDonald's or Milli Cyrus's going away party. I think I'll start the set with an old Rolling Stones classic, "You Can't Always Get What You Want"
     
  17. Ganado

    Ganado Monkey+++

    You missed airports, and bad comedy like SNL. just doing my part for topics for your grist mill
    :p
     
    Aeason likes this.
  18. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    Day 7 was Sunday, time to praise Chuck Todd ---
     
  19. BTPost

    BTPost Stumpy Old Fart Snow Monkey Moderator

    @ ghrit Do you mean UpChuck Todd?
     
  20. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    Let's just say he'll never be a Tim Russert.
     
    RightHand and BTPost like this.
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